


Promises Kept

by anothercrazymom



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 22:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothercrazymom/pseuds/anothercrazymom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set well after Cryoburn, Lady Helen and Lord Sasha are 8.  A play date at the Imperial Residence goes wrong and much stress occurs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Crown Prince Xav ran down the twisty path as fast as his eight-year-old legs could carry him, his bright red and blue shirt a spot of color among the greens and browns of the plants around him.  Under any normal circumstances he would have paid more attention to his surroundings.  The Imperial Garden looked amazing in late summer and the flowers and trees were in full bloom.  The wide and twisty path was completely clear of any of those plants, instead designed for children running and playing on.  Xav had no need to fear running afoul of any loose debris.  

He ran headlong into the center of the Garden with its giant sand box, where his youngest brothers and Helen and Sasha’s youngest sisters were building.  Simon and John were using plastic containers with the damp sand and creating the whole of Vorbarra Sultana.  It had been an on going project they had spent the last week on.  Taurie was working on Vorkosigan House and Simon and John were creating the details of the shopping district complete with a new toy store and candy shop.  An amused and particularly creative Vorbarra Armsman was working on the Imperial Residence and providing structural comments when asked.  Sometimes being an Armsman assigned to the Empress led to jobs not originally in the description, like playing in sand.  

Xav’s Mama was entertaining her guest just as he had been entertaining his guests a few minutes before.  There was a table filled with all manner of tasty things.  The Mamas were sitting and talking and watching the little kids just like they always did.  Helen and Sasha’s mama was patiently peeling an orange for their little sister, Sofia, and his Mama was laughing.  

 The Mamas turned and looked as Xav’s feet slapped the ground and he almost crashed into his Mama.

 “Xav, slow down.  Don’t bump the table and knock the food over,” his Mama said as he skidded to a stop.

 “You gotta come.  Helen got hurt.  Hurt bad.  You gotta come now!” Xav said all in one breath as soon as he could talk.

 “You stay and finish with Sofia and I’ll go find out what is going on with Helen,” said Empress Laisa to her guest.  “It is probably nothing.” 

 Armsman Aubert stood up and wiped the sand off his uniform.  

 “Mama, let him stay and help, please....” , cried Simon at the unexpected disruption of his construction site.  “We are just getting ready to put in the river and we need him to help with the water.”

 “Pweez, Mama,” joined in John, agreeing with his big brother.

Empress Laisa looked at her boys with a smile.  They were having such a good time she could not interrupt their fun.  “No, you stay with the children, Aubert.  They need your building expertise.  I can deal with this.” 

 “As you say, ma’am,” said Armsman Aubert and sat down again.

 “I love you, Mama,” said Simon.  

 “I love you, too, Simon,” said Laisa.

 Ekaterin, Helen and Sasha’s mama, looked up thankfully and said, “You are a life saver.”

 Sofia wailed, “Mama, what about my orange!”

 Ekaterin resumed peeling the orange for the toddler on her lap, “Sofia, you need to wait.  I can’t go any faster than I can go.”

 Laisa smiled at the totally domestic scene and said to Xav, “Okay, Xav.  Show me what the problem is.”

 Xav turned and headed back down the twisty path, “Come on, Mama!” he called as he ran.

 Laisa proceeded at a quick walk, but did not keep up with her fast moving son.  The energy of an eight-year-old was something she simply did not have.  Xav only paused once when he met his little brother, David and the last of Helen and Sasha’s little sisters, Lizzie, riding their bikes on the path.  They were riding the great looping circle that surrounded the garden.  They pedalled as fast as they could down the straight parts and slowed only a little to navigate the turns.  Xav dodged them as they whooped and hollered as they went by.

 Xav could hear his mama tell David and Lizzie to be careful and the chorus of “We will,” as they pedalled away still going as fast as ever.

 Xav arrived at Cave Rock.  That was the name the children had given to the huge rock structure.  It was several rocks stacked together that made a great hide out.  There was the cave-like inside part to play in when it rained.  You needed to bring lights because it was dark, but it stayed mostly warm and dry in there.  The upper flat part was where they liked to play this time of year.  It made a great spot to sit and talk and play the board games that they enjoyed.  Today they were going to try out one Xav had gotten as a gift from his Komarran grandparents.  The flat rocks had been stacked so the edges had made a set of natural stairs that made climbing to the top possible.  From the  top you could see a long way.  In winter, when the trees had fewer leaves you could see all the way to the center of the garden where the Mamas had been sitting.  Today you couldn’t see that far, only to the edge of the great circle path because the trees were in the way.

 Finally his Mama arrived.  

****

Empress Laisa had expected to see a skinned knee or even a sprained wrist.  What she found sent shivers of shock and fear rippling through her body.  On the ground next to Cave Rock lay Lady Helen Vorkosigan unconscious and bleeding from a cut on her head.  Lord Sasha was leaning over her and pressing his jacket to the cut on her head.  He looked scared and panicked.

Empress Laisa took in the situation in one shocked look and immediately reached for the comlink she carried with her everywhere.  “Captain Dragan, I need medical assistance in the Garden at Cave Rock.  Lady Helen is injured.”

Less than a minute later three ImpSec officers had arrived and were taking in the scene talking animatedly into their comlinks.  One had dislodged the distraught Sasha from his place at Helen’s head.  Another was anxiously trying to determine if Helen had injured anything else, but her head.  The final one was watching from a few feet away trying to determine if there was any danger to Laisa or anyone else.

Captain Dragan appeared a few minutes later with additional personnel trailing behind him.  They carried more medical equipment and looked out of breath.  It was obvious that they had come from the Imperial Infirmary after the first men on the scene had determined that the situation demanded more medical expertise than they had.  

Lady Helen had regained consciousness and was talking to them as they worked to find the extent of her injuries.  She appeared confused, but other than the bump on her head did not seem to have broken anything. 

Captain Dragan watched the scene unfold with a concerned but not overly critical eye.  His men were doing their job and doing it well.  While accidents were not something he looked forward to, it was something they trained for and the training was paying off.  As far as he could tell, everything was going smoothly.

“Do you know what happened?” Captain Dragan asked the Empress who had been watching as ImpSec had swarmed the Garden.  

She walked the few steps to where he was standing pausing only to pick up a red plastic spaceship that was on the ground.  “This is a piece from Xav’s new game.  I wonder how it ended up on the ground here,”  she said.  Then she saw  a few more.  The pieces to the game were scattered on the ground.  She picked a few more of them up.

“No,” she replied.  “Xav came running down the path a few minutes ago and said that Helen had gotten hurt and that someone needed to come.  Then he led me back here.”

Captain Dragan nodded and continued to watch as his men efficiently and professionally dealt with the situation.  “I will ask my men to pick up the game pieces when we are done here,” he said.

Suddenly Laisa looked up remembering, “Ekaterin!”

“One of my men will inform her, milady.   And then walk her here.”  Captain Dragan spoke into his comlink.

“And Miles.”

Captain Dragan spoke again into the comlink.  “He knows now, too.”

In the distance, Laisa could hear Sofia wailing, “But I don’t want to stay here with this guard!  I want to come with you!”  

“She will be here shortly.”

Laisa smiled briefly at the thought of the Imperial Guard now given to watching the screaming Sofia.  She wondered if he had any experience dealing with children.  He would gain that experience quickly if he didn’t already have it.

The ImpSec medical team had just finished securing Helen to board they had brought for that purpose when she mumbled “....sick,” and began retching.  One of the medical team tipped the board sideways and the others moved clear as she vomited.  Ekaterin arrived to the scene just as it reached its end.   

“Lady Helen, how are you feeling now?” asked the hovering Ensign.

“Sleepy,” came the slurred words. 

“We need to go now,” replied the hovering Ensign looking up at Captain Dragan, who nodded in agreement.

“I am going with you,” said Ekaterin.

“That’s fine,” said the distracted Ensign.  He had too much to worry about than trying to prevent someone from following him.  If it were important then someone else would deal with it.  Later.

“Updates as you have them, Ensign Roux,”  called Captain Dragan.

“Yes, sir,” Ensign Roux called as he led Helen and the two men carrying her toward the Infirmary.  Ekaterin followed speaking in a soft voice to her daughter.

***

The area around Cave Rock was suddenly much quieter as the drama surrounding the injured Helen subsided and attention was refocused on finding out what had happened.  The ImpSec agents that had briefly numbered about twenty began drifting back to whatever their jobs would have been had the emergency not called them away.  Captain Dragan talked into his comlink and looked mostly pleased with the response of his team. “Ensign, pick up the game pieces before you leave.”

“Yes, sir.” 

Empress Laisa looked around and found Sasha sitting on a rock near the entrance to the cave part of Cave Rock, but did not immediately find Xav.  Unconcerned, she walked over to him, sat down on a nearby rock,  and asked, “What happened?” and then when he didn’t answer, “Where is Xav?”  

Sasha looked glumly at his feet and didn’t answer.

Laisa looked around the area again and still didn’t find her son.  His red and blue shirt usually made him stick out in against the greens and browns of the garden but there was no hint of red or blue as far as she could see.

Captain Dragan paused in his talking to his comlink and walked over to where Laisa and Sasha were sitting.  Growing slightly concerned about this turn of events, he kneeled down and looked directly at the young child before him.  He asked again the question that Laisa had just asked, “Lord Sasha, where is Prince Xav?”

***

Sasha had been watching the assorted ImpSec people as they attended to his sister with a worried fascination.  He knew that she was getting the best care possible.  That was the way it worked when your uncle was the Emperor of Barrayar and you were playing with the Crown Prince.  Even when she threw up on that unlucky Ensign no one had gotten upset.  

But he had known that the moment would come when the crisis was over and someone would ask him what had happened.  He just didn’t want it to come.  But he had to stay.  He had to make sure that Helen was okay.  He couldn’t just leave her alone.

“Lord Sasha, where is Prince Xav?”  Captain Dragan asked again more urgently this time and with an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there the first time.  Or the time when Aunt Laisa had asked.

Sasha decided that he could answer this question.  He hadn’t promised anything about this.  “I don’t know,” he finally replied softly.

****

Captain Dragan stood up quickly, took a few steps away, and began talking into the comlink he had only seconds before been ignoring.  His face moments before had been calm and resolute.  It now became a mask of worry and concern.  The Crown Prince was missing.  And on his watch.  He spoke urgently into his comlink and relayed the information to the one person he most wished he didn’t need to tell that his son had disappeared.  And then to his chain of command, General Allegre, another conversation he didn’t enjoy having.  Captain Dragan’s face remained expressionless as he relayed the information.

Aunt Laisa looked puzzled, “Captain Dragan, he can’t have gotten far.  Where would he go?”  She stood up, stepped over and then picked up another colored plastic piece, and walked over to where the worried Captain was standing.  The Ensign assigned to collecting them had put them in a small pile and was waiting to be told what to do next.

“Yes, milady,” he replied, sounding distracted by the buzzing of voices in his comlink.  Captain Dragan’s day had gone from being a model of efficiency to a disaster in a matter of minutes.  His expression became one of stressed dismay.  His security issues had become even more urgent than before.  

“Is Gregor coming?” Laisa asked.

“Yes, milady.  He will be here in a few minutes.  After the Garden is secure.”

Laisa looked back at her nephew and sighed.  She had thought to spend the afternoon in pleasant conversation with her friend about children and holidays and gardening and what not.  A relaxing afternoon among a week of stressful business meeting and negotiations.  This was not the plan. 

A dozen ImpSec agents appeared in the Garden and looked attentively at Captain Dragan for instructions.  “Evacuate the children and secure the Garden.  Then begin searching for Prince Xav,” Captain Dragan calmly began. “Start here at Cave Rock.  That appears to be the last place he was seen.”

“Empress,” Captain Dragan, “If you will allow Ensign Rabovich to escort you back to the apartments, please.” 

Laisa sighed, “Captain Dragan, I think you are over reacting to a little boy’s adventure.”

“Yes, milady.  I understand.  I am doing my job which is to keep you and these children safe.  Please follow Ensign Rabovich.”

“Ensign, we will stop and gather the rest of the children on our way through.”

Ensign Rabovich looked to Captain Dragan, who nodded his assent.  They began the walk back to the table and where the toddler Sofia could be heard complaining, “But I want MY Mama to peel the orange for me.” 

This was mostly certainly not the plan.

****

Count Miles Vorkosigan and his Imperial escort reached the east entrance to the garden a mere fifteen minutes after Miles had first found out one of his children had been injured.  It had been a long fifteen minutes.  Of all the things that made him worry, the safety of his family was at the top of the list.  There could be no hole deep enough for someone who had caused harm to come to one of them.  

But despite his worry, he knew that there was no better place for Helen to be, except maybe Imp Mil itself and children didn’t normally place at the Imperial Military Hospital.  Of course, his childhood had been different from most children and he had spent many hours there playing, but thankfully none of his children had.  Miles’s oddly short stature and strange appearance was not of a genetic cause; instead, it had been the result of an attack on his mother when he had not yet been born.  He had survived but not without cost.  His fragile bones had been replaced over the years with synthetic ones.  The process had not been pain-free and he had spent many many days in Imp Mil.  It was not a pleasant memory.  It had been worth it.  He had survived.  More than survived-grown into his future.  He had fought life and won.  

Miles read the tags on the uniform of the guard who stood between him and the Garden entrance, “Good afternoon, Ensign Vorpine.”

“Good afternoon, Lord Auditor Count Vorkosigan, sir,” the young man said, but he did not move to let Miles past and into the Garden.  “The Garden has been sealed, sir.  I am not to let anyone in.”

Miles briefly thought about simply ordering this attentive Ensign to choose between obeying an order from an Imperial Auditor and obeying an order from his superior officer and decided that there wasn’t a need to do that today.  He would save those imponderables for more difficult-to-solve issues than a door that could easily be opened.  Instead he said,  “Call Captain Dragan and ask him to let me pass, Ensign,” and then he waited while the appropriate permission was given.

It was only a few seconds later that the relieved Ensign Vorpine said to him, “You may enter, sir.”

Miles walked through the now open door and into the bright sun of the outdoors.  He could hear Taurie talking loudly to someone about how she wanted to have another orange and she wanted HER Mama to peel it.  He suspected that Ekaterin was not going to be able to fulfil that request anytime soon and that who ever was charged with dealing with Taurie had lots of patience and the ability to deal with fantastic amounts of talking.

Miles left his ImpSec escort at the door to the Garden and followed the twisty path to Cave Rock.  The twisty path had been one of Ekaterin’s best ideas for the Garden.  It provided a safe and speedy path to ride bikes and tow wagons, and provided a way for ImpSec to move people around with a minimum of fuss.  A prize all the way around. 

Cave Rock had been her idea too.  She had recognized early on that kids needed a place that was all their own and if the Garden didn’t provide one they would invent one themselves.  This was the solution to that issue.  The cave was doubly reinforced concrete and rocks stacked together.  It may look natural, but it had passed several engineering analysis reviews before construction had started.  It was extremely well designed.  In the worst of snow storms it would get mighty cold in there, but the roof wouldn’t fall in.  

As Miles approached Cave Rock he noticed an abundance of ImpSec agents present-far more than he would have guessed for a child’s accident even if the child had been the Crown Prince.  And it had not been Xav who had been injured.  Helen did not rate this many ImpSec agents.  Something else had happened.

****

Emperor Gregor Vorbarra’s afternoon of relaxation had come to an abrupt end.  Miles had often been the source of excitement when he had been younger, some of it in the Imperial Residence itself.  They had played all sorts of games among the twisting hallways and the outdoor gardens.  They had snuck into unused rooms and climbed trees.  Ivan had joined them in snowball fights and several games of hide and seek.  Miles was very good at hide and seek because he was the smallest and could fit in the most peculiar places.  He had hidden on a shelf in an old shed once.  He and Ivan had finally given up that day and declared Miles the winner.  But there had been other days that hadn’t ended as well.  The day that Miles decided that he could climb the highest tree in the old garden had gone well, right up until Miles fell out of the tree and broke three bones.  It hadn’t stopped him for very long.  After his bones healed he climbed the tree again as if to prove to the tree that Miles was superior.  Of course, the tree didn’t notice or care, but Miles did. 

Gregor walked toward the seldom used back entrance to the Garden.  This was the quickest way from his personal offices to the main family section of the Residence.  He used it almost exclusively in good weather.  There were several other ways that kept one indoors and out of the elements.  Today, however, was sunny and bright.  He assumed that various ImpSec and other staff used the garden as a thoroughfare even in bad weather because it cut several minutes from the walk.  

As he reached the door an alert Ensign stood aside and allowed him through.  “Captain Dragan is at Cave Rock with Count Vorkosigan, Sire.  The Empress and the children have all been moved to your personal apartments.”

Gregor acknowledged the information and walked through the entrance and toward Cave Rock.  It really was a most impressive structure.   It had been a brilliant move to hire Countess Vorkosigan to redesign this Garden to be usable by the children and as a party space weather permitting.  Somehow weather permitting meant something different when one was a child than when one was an adult.

***

 Captain Dragan had only had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of Chief Illyan’s ire once, but it had been an experience he never wanted to repeat.  It appeared that Lord Auditor Count Vorkosigan was even more impressive when upset than the formidable former Chief of ImpSec.  Captain Dragan resolutely stood his ground and waited while the little Lord insisted that his son be left alone.

“You will not interrogate my son,” said Lord Auditor Vorkosigan.  He stood, like an impenetrable wall, between Captain Dragan and young Lord Sasha.

Captain Dragan winced.  Disobeying a Lord Auditor was one step from treason and he had no interest in being brought up on a treason charge today or any other day.  “Lord Auditor Vorkosigan, sir.  He obviously knows more than he is telling and he won’t answer our questions.  Prince Xav is missing and he was the last one to have seen him.  We need the information.”

“No.”  Miles paced in circles only stopping when he stepped on a green plastic spaceship. He picked it up and continued his path. 

“Milord, if this was any other child, it would already have been done.  The information would be obtained and the child on his way,” pleaded Captain Dragan.

“But it is not any other child, Captain Dragan.  It is *my* child,” retorted the angry Lord Auditor.

“Yes, milord, but...” Captain Dragan’s words were swallowed as Emperor  Gregor Vorbarra arrived with his batman at Cave Rock.

“Is there a problem, gentlemen?” he asked with no joy in his voice.

“Yes, sire,” answered Captain Dragan with a significant measure of foreboding in his voice.  He did not look in the direction of the glaring Lord Auditor.

Gregor looked from Captain Dragan to Miles and back and said, “Continue.”

Captain Dragan began, “About twenty minutes ago, Lady Helen was injured.  After seeing to her treatment it was discovered that Prince Xav was missing.  Lord Sasha was the last person to talk to Prince Xav.  He does not wish to tell us what happened or where Xav is now.” Captain Dragan paused, “A few minutes ago, after determining that Lord Sasha was not going to be communicative I ordered Ensign Aubert to fetch a fast penta kit.  Lord Auditor Vorkosigan objected to that order.”

Gregor watched as Miles glowered at the recitation but did not contradict it.  It seemed that he did not argue with the facts of the matter, only the conclusions.  Captain Dragan was trying to do his job and Miles was trying to protect his family.  Unfortunately the two goals had reached an impasse. 

Gregor looked thoughtfully at the young Lord Sasha sitting on a rock.  Sasha had been crying.  His tear-streaked face and the dirt on his clothes testified to the fact that it had been a trying afternoon for him as well as the beleaguered Captain Dragan.  He looked ready to start crying again at any moment.  What had the enthusiastic Captain told the child?  What had he already done?

“Captain Dragan, Count Vorkosigan, I will speak to Lord Sasha myself, alone,” said Gregor.  “And then we will see what happens.”  Murmurs of complaint were silenced from both Captain Dragan and Miles with a cold look from Gregor. 

Gregor’s countenance changed as he walked over to the rock where Sasha was sitting. He picked up a blue plastic spaceship from the ground and added it to the pile of game pieces that had been collected.  His face softened and he sat carefully on the ground to avoid the worst of the dirt. 

Sasha looked up at him and then out past the trees that hid Cave Rock from the rest of the Garden.  “Do you know if Helen is going to be okay?” he asked.

“The most recent information I received was that she had a concussion and an awful headache.  But that she would be alright,” said Gregor.  Had Captain Dragan not answered this question?  Or, worse, given some other answer to it?

“Oh,” said Sasha, his face brightening slightly.  “Captain Dragan said that he would tell me after I answered his questions.  But I couldn’t answer his questions,” his face darkened again and he looked back at his knees.

“Sasha, can you answer a question for me?” asked Gregor as kindly as possible.  Sasha looked up.  “Do you know where Xav is now?”

“No,” said Sasha earnestly.  “I really don’t know.  I *did* tell Captain Dragan that.  I told him the first time he asked.  I was holding my jacket on Helen’s head when all the ImpSec people arrived.  I haven’t seen him since then.  Really.”

Gregor thought carefully.  Captain Dragan was going to need a review of dealing with children if he continued to work at this post.  No matter how good at security the man was he needed to have the respect if not friendship of the people he guarded.  “What happened here?  How did Helen get hurt?”

“I can’t tell you,” said Sasha conflicted.  He obviously wanted to share this burden with someone but felt obligated to not.  Tears slowly began to trickle down his face.

“Why not?” asked Gregor confused by the negative answer.

“I promised,” responded Sasha tucking his knees under his shirt as if to make a ball.

“Promised who? Xav?” asked Gregor.  He expected that he knew this answer, but had to know.  Gregor guessed that he knew the source of Sasha’s problem now. 

Sasha nodded but wouldn’t meet Gregor’s eyes.  “I gave my word.  On my name as Vorkosigan that I wouldn’t tell.”  Sasha wrapped his arms around his shirt covered knees.

“To Xav?” Gregor’s guess was confirmed.  His respect for the young Lord Sasha grew.  Whatever had happened this afternoon was not worthy of such a display of loyalty.  Sasha deserved better than this.  

Sasha again nodded yes.

“Would it make a difference if I told you that as Emperor,  I can order you to tell me anyway?” said Gregor desperately hoping that Sasha would accept that answer.  Could this loyalty be spared indignity today?

“No,” said Sasha.    “I promised Xav.  Just Xav.”

“So there is no way you are going to tell what happened voluntarily,” asked Gregor sadly.

Sasha shook his head no and hugged his knees even tighter.

Gregor got up from the ground and brushed the dirt from his pants.  He carefully walked back to where Captain Dragan and Miles had been impatiently waiting for this interview to be over.

“Did you find out what you wanted to know, Sire?” asked Lord Auditor Vorkosigan anxiously.

“No,” replied Gregor.  “I did not.”  He turned and addressed Captain Dragan directly, “Do you know where Prince Xav is?”  

“No, Sire.”

“Then continue with your search.  Lord Sasha doesn’t  have any more information about where Xav is now.”

“We have confirmed that he is not within the Garden and have begun searching the rooms that surround the area.”

“Have you checked the kitchens?”

“Yes, Sire.  If he shows up there, the staff was told to give him the food he was looking for and keep him talking while we arrived.”

“And inform General Allegre of the situation, if you have not already done so.  When this is over there will be a review of the procedures.”

“Yes, Sire.”

Gregor paused, “Send Ensign Aubert for the kit.” And at the beginnings of Miles’s protest continued, “And give me a few moments alone with Count Vorkosigan.”

Captain Dragan stepped away to do as he had been instructed and gave the order to Ensign Aubert.

Gregor faced his younger foster brother with trepidation.  This was not going to be an easy conversation.  “Miles,” he began.

“Sire, he does not know what that idiot Captain wants to know.  He doesn’t know where Xav is,” Miles spoke all in a rush.  “He...”

“Count Vorkosigan, stop!” said Gregor quietly, but forcefully. “I am well aware of the fact that Sasha does not know where Xav is.”

Miles deflated visibly.  His projected space shrunk to only man sized proportions.

“I also know that he made a promise to Xav not to tell about whatever happened at earlier at Cave Rock.  Whatever happened that caused Helen to be injured.”

Miles looked from Gregor to his son.

“I further know that he gave his name’s word to Xav and is not willing to break it not even to his Emperor.  But I need to know.  Not the details of the accident, because I am sure that it was, but the details of how he gave his word to Xav and why.  I need to know what my son is trying to hide.”

 Miles shrank again.  “Yes, Sire.”

Ensign Aubert had returned.  Captain Dragan waited patiently for further instructions.

“You can stay and be a witness or I can have one of these men escort you to the Infirmary you would rather not watch.”

“I want to do it.” 

Puzzled, Gregor looked at Miles in confusion.  “Want to do what?”

“I want to do the interrogation,” said Miles.  Gregor winced at the choice of word, but Miles continued.  There was no use in calling it something gentler.  If Sasha was truly determined to not tell what had happened this could be ugly.  Fast penta would do the job, but the emotional cost to the subject could be high.  “I have had more experience than anyone else here dealing with hostile interrogations and this would be one.  If you command that it needs to be done, I want it done right, Sire.”  As Lord Auditor he had been involved in countless interrogations and as Admiral Naismith countless more.  There was no disputing the validity of his credentials. 

“Miles, that isn’t necessary,” said Gregor again aware of the enormous responsibility that being Emperor entailed and the tremendous cost to Miles. “There are other people here who have the training.”

“It is necessary.  For me.  Sasha is my son.  I must. I owe him this.  Even if he doesn’t see it that way now.”  Or ever.

Satisfied Gregor assented.  He looked at the waiting Captain Dragan and nodded.  Captain Dragan gave the order to begin setting up the mini cameras and the recording devices that would allow an analyst to go over the information later if necessary.  

Captain Dragan was not pleased when he was told that Count Vorkosigan would be running the interrogation, but there was little he could do about it.   Gainsaying the Emperor and a Lord Auditor would be beyond unbelievably stupid, he knew better than that.  If warranted later, he could take his concerns to General Allegre, perhaps the only person that could make either one listen.  Resigned, Captain Dragan returned to the task at hand and supervised the setting up of the cameras.

Captain Dragan handed Miles the smaller box that had been in the kit with the cameras and recording equipment as his men finished setting up the recording equipment.  It contained a sealed test patch with timer to check for fast penta allergy, a hypo of fast penta, and the fast penta antagonist.

“Thank you, Captain Dragan, you can go ahead and start recording” said Miles as he accepted the proffered box.  Captain Dragan motioned to his men.   Miles took the few steps to where his son still sat on the ground with his knees protectively tucked to his chest.  “Sasha, do you understand what is going on?” he asked, looking for understanding the youngster’s eyes.

Sasha returned the look and nodded his understanding.  “I understand.” At some point he had stopped crying and wiped away the tears.  His face still had streaks from before but was now calm and resigned to what was going to happen.  Miles opened the box and removed a sealed test patch and a portable timer.  He applied the test patch to his son’s wrist.  Sasha watched with a nervous fascination, “Papa?”

Miles looked up, “Yes, Sasha?”

“Does it hurt?”  A flood of emotion hit Miles like a waterfall.  Does it hurt?  How was he going to explain this to Ekaterin?  Would she understand?  Miles shunted the unwanted emotions to another place and returned to the task at hand.

“No,” he said and he started the timer.  He walked back to where his Emperor stood waiting and watching silently.

The beep of the timer startled everyone when it went off three minutes later.  

Miles returned to Sasha and removed the test patch.  There was no visible mark.  Sasha was not allergic to fast penta.  Ruefully, Miles was relieved at this knowledge.  This had gotten too far to stop and any of the other alternatives were far more invasive than the one that he confronted now.

“No signs of an allergy, Sire,” he said.

“Then begin, Count Vorkosigan” 

Miles discharged the hypo onto his son’s wrist and watched as the hard won determination and control began to slip away.  He sat facing his son a few feet away on the dirt and absently picked up yet another colored plastic spaceship from the ground.  He added it to the pile, momentarily wondering just how many spaceships were in the game and how many had ended up on the ground.

“Now, we wait for the drug to take full effect.  It should be just a few minutes,” said  Miles checking the time.  

“Start with the orienting questions, Count Vorkosigan.  We will know when it has taken effect well enough from the answers.”

“Yes, Sire.”  Miles put on his most Lord Auditor face and began, “State your name.”

Sasha’s expression had gone from a resigned determination at the start to a rather dazed happy expression now.  There was little doubt the drug was working exactly as expected.  “My name is Lord Aral Alexander Vorkosigan,” he began, “I was named for my grandfathers.  My Grand-da, Aral Vokosigan  was an important Count and did lots of important things for the Emperor.  He lived on Sergyar and was Viceroy there when he died.  That was sad.  My other Grand-da, the one I got the Alexander part from is my Mama’s da.  He lives on the Southern Continent.  We go there over the summer sometimes to visit.  It is cold there now because the seasons are different.  Mama likes to visit sometimes but she likes coming home to Vorkosigan House.  I like coming home too.”

Miles smiled and let him talk, the effect of the drug made one talk at great length on whatever subject was suggested.  Obviously the subject of his name was something Sasha could talk about for some time.  Answering this easy and unthreatening question was the first step in getting to the harder and more hidden questions later.

“What is your birthday?” asked Miles continuing the standard introductory questions.  It seemed that Sasha was taking to the drug exactly as the predicted.

“My birthday is near Winter Faire.  I share it with my sister Helen.  She was born on the same day I was.  We are twins.  Lizzie and Taurie and Sofia all have birthdays then too.  They don’t share the same year as Helen and I do, but we all have the same day.  Mama says that it sounded like a good idea at the time, but now that we are all getting older that having five birthdays all on the same day is a lot of work.  But at least it is all over with at once and not spread out all over the year.  Last year we had five different cakes for Birthday Day.  I got to pick the flavor of mine.  I picked chocolate.  Helen had lemon pie.  Lizzie wanted a giant cookie and Ma Kosti made one for her.  Taurie said it could be any kind of cake so long as it had pink frosting and lots of it.  Mama got to pick for Sofia cuz she was too little to pick for herself, so Sofia got a fruit tart because Mama likes fruit tarts.  This year I think I am going to pick an ice cream cake and get both ice cream and cake at the same time.”

There was no reason to delay any longer, the drug had taken full effect.  Miles pressed on.  “What did you do today?”

“This morning I got up and ate breakfast.  We had porridge with fruit.  Taurie and I like it but Helen and Lizzie like other things better.  Sofia  made a mess and spilled it on the floor.   She does that a lot.  Then we played outside....”

“Skip to this afternoon, after you arrived at the Residence,” Miles directed, trying to bypass an accounting of the entire day.

“We arrived at the Residence at about lunch time and ate in the Center Garden.  There were all sorts of tasty things to eat.  I like Ma Kosti’s food better, but Uncle Gregor has good food too.  I had a some kind of soup with vegetables because Mama made me and then a sandwich with ham and cheese and tomatoes.  And then finally a cookie.  Sofia only wanted to eat the cookies but Mama wouldn’t let her so she screamed.  Sofia decided that she would eat the soup after a while and stopped screaming.”

Sasha paused to catch his breath.  Miles looked away from his subject and toward his Emperor.  Gregor’s face was as unreadable as ever.  So far Sasha hadn’t said anything about whatever had happened.

“Then what happened, Sasha?” Miles pressed for Sasha to continue.

“Then David and Lizzie ran off to get the bikes to ride around the Garden Path.  Mama made Lizzie wear her helmet and Aunt Laisa told David that he had to wear his.  Simon and John and Taurie decided to work on the sand city.  Taurie wanted to do Vorkosigan House.  She was going to make it pink by adding some of the red leaves that had fallen on the ground to the sand.  Mama said that she couldn’t pick the flower petals from the plants like she had wanted to at first.  Simon and John were making the shopping district.  They added a toy store and candy store.  I think the candy store was bigger than the Residence.”

Now he was getting closer to the desired information, as long Sasha didn’t fight it, this would be done in the next few minutes.  Even if Sasha did fight it would be done, but... 

“What did you and Helen and Xav do?” asked Miles, patiently, trying to rush someone under fast penta was not nearly as helpful as one hoped.

But Sasha agreeably continued, “Helen and Xav and I decided to play Xav’s new game.  It is called Spaceships and Soldiers.  We took it here to Cave Rock and climbed up there,” Sasha pointed to the top of the cave part of Cave Rock, “and set it up.  There are lots of little pieces.  Everyone has their own color of spaceship and soldiers.”

And Sasha paused.  Miles recognized turmoil that crossed his son’s face.  This was the part that he didn’t want to tell.

“Go on Sasha, what happened after you set up the pieces?”

Sasha struggled against his desire to not talk about it and the drug that compelled him to answer any question asked of him.  A moment later the drug won and Sasha continued, “After Helen set up her pieces she was helping Xav set up his pieces and accidentally knocked his Starship pieces off Cave Rock and onto the ground.  Xav got mad and knocked all of Helen’s pieces off the the board.  Helen reached for the pieces and fell off Cave Rock and hit her head.” 

So that was how the accident had happened.  If this had stopped there...

“Then what happened, Sasha?  What happened next?”

“Xav and I climbed down Cave Rock and saw that Helen had gotten hurt really bad.  Xav got scared.  I told him that he needed to go get Mama.  That Helen needed help.  He said that he wouldn’t go unless I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened.  I told him that it wouldn’t matter that no one would get mad, but that he needed to go get Mama.  He still said no.  He said that he would only go if I gave my name’s word that I wouldn’t tell.  I couldn’t leave Helen.  I didn’t want to give my word to him, but I had to.  I had to get Mama to come.”

Miles had stopped watching Sasha part way through this incredible recitation to look at his Emperor.  This was beyond anything he had expected.  Emperor Gregor rarely showed much emotion on his face, but this total lack of expression unnerved Miles to his core. 

“Then what happened?”

“Aunt Laisa came first because Xav brought her instead of Mama, but it worked okay.  She saw Helen was hurt and lots of ImpSec agents came and took care of her.  Then Captain Dragan came and Mama came too.”

“What did Xav do then?”

“I don’t know.  After Aunt Laisa came there were too many people and too much stuff going on.  I wasn’t paying attention to him.”

Captain Dragan, always attentive, interrupted the silence.  “Ask him if he knows where Xav is now,” and then realizing that ordering these men to do anything was not the best idea, added “Please.”

Miles’s gaze paused briefly at the impertinent Captain Dragan and then deciding that the question was relevant to the situation at hand returned to Sasha, “Where is Xav, now?”

Sasha gave the same answer he had given all the times before, “I don’t know.”

Miles looked again at the man who was Emperor and asked, “Is there anything else?”

Emperor Gregor Vorbarra looked at Captain Dragan, who shook his head no, and in a voice totally devoid of all emotion, said, “No.  I think that is more than enough for today.”

Miles changed the vials on the hypospray and gave his son the antagonist handing the hypospray to Captain Dragan to account for.  Seconds later awareness returned to Sasha’s expression and with it the realization of what he had done.    

“I didn’t keep my word,” said Sasha clearly upset by the realization that he had done exactly what he had promised he would not do.

Gregor looked at him, “He should never have asked for a promise that would place you in that  position.  It is Xav’s failure-not yours.  You did your duty to Barrayar today.  Just like your father and grandfather before you.  You bear the name well, Lord Aral Alexander Vorkosigan.”

Miles bent to pick up the few scattered plastic spaceships still on the ground.  The box had been taken from the top of Cave Rock at some point earlier and Miles added his collected pieces to the piles and moved the pile into the box.   His eyes followed as Emperor Gregor Vorbarra walked the lonely road of power with his batman trailing behind. 

Captain Dragan attended to the recording equipment and packaged it into the box it had come from.  Some ImpSec analyst would be reviewing it, no doubt, but for now it was done.  His job was not done, however, he still had a Crown Prince to find and no new ideas on where to look.

******

Helen had a headache.  And the world did not want to stay in focus.  And every time she moved her head, her stomach began to rebel and she felt sick again.  She closed her eyes and again hoped that it would get better soon.  She could hear her Mama talking to someone not too far away.

“Lady Helen has a severe concussion.  There does not appear to be any permanent damage, but she will need rest and quiet for a few days at least.  Possibly longer if the symptoms don’t resolve.”  That must be the doctor that had appeared a little while ago.  He had asked her lots of questions and taken a bunch of scans of her head.  She didn’t know if she liked him or not.

“When will she be able to go home?”  That was her Mama.  Helen liked her Mama.  She wanted very much to be near her, but didn’t want to move very far.  Actually moving at all seemed like a very very bad idea.

 “No earlier than tomorrow.  She needs to be somewhere that she can be monitored closely for at least a day or so, maybe longer.  She has had a significant injury.  If everything goes as expected she could go home tomorrow afternoon, but I can’t guarantee that.  I am sure that you can stay here, if you would like. But if not, then she can be transferred to ImpMil.”

Helen drifted back to sleep and hoped that she could stay right where she was.

*******

“Mama, there is a monster in Xav’s room!  I can hear it!” called David urgently. He and Lizzie had been having foot races down the long hallway from the living areas to the bedrooms.

“I’ll deal with it this time, milady,” said Armsman Aubert with a smile.  “I can do monster duty.”

Laisa smiled as well, her day had not improved greatly in the past 45 minutes since coming upon the injured Lady Helen.  “Thank you, Aubert,” she said to him and called to David, “David, Aubert is coming to fight your monster.  He can deal with anything.”

Armsman Aubert walked down the hallway, sand castle duty at lunch time and monster duty in the afternoon.  Life with Imperial children was not so much different than life for non Imperial ones.  Except for the built in adult playmates.

Armsman Aubert cautiously opened the door to Xav’s room with David and Lizzie peering around him.  As he opened the door completely he caught a flash of blue and red moving quickly to hide and blocked the line of sight on the two children.  He was removing his stunner from its holster when David called, “Xav!  How did you get here?”

Armsman Aubert quickly returned it to its place and crossed the room to snare the darting Xav.  He opened his comchannel and announced that Xav had been found.

Sulkily Xav replied, “I climbed in the window.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Armsman Aubert scanned the living quarters again. Empress Laisa, safe, sitting on the couch examining a picture book with lots of princesses. The book must have been saved for just this type of occasion. The Empress would have little use for princess stories with only young boys in the Residence. Their tastes ran more to spaceships and bugs.

The younger of the Vorkosigan girls, Taurie and Sofie, sat next to the Empress discussing the pictures in the book, safe and safe. It didn’t appear that much actual reading was being done. Instead, the commentary tended to how pink the dresses were and how many ruffles were on them. The Empress seemed to be enjoying the cheerful girl talk.

The younger princes, Simon and John, sat not two feet away from him patiently stacking wooden blocks to make the ‘tallest tower ever’, safe and safe. The tower was only about six blocks high, but was already starting to wobble. He suspected that the parallelogram shaped blocks used for the base were not the best choice. 

He could hear six year old David, the oldest prince currently in his care, and Lizzie Vorkosigan running down the hallway giggling, safe and safe. They weren’t interested in the story book or the blocks and would rather be outside riding bikes or climbing trees. Unfortunately their outside play had been cut short, but the hallway was good for running anyway. 

He confidently completed his head count. All clear. No trouble here.

He calmly returned to playing blocks with the two young princes. He glanced at the rapidly vanishing older children running up and down the hall too, but there wasn’t much to see as they raced away.

David and his friend Lizzie stopped not far from Aubert. Aubert overheard their conversation and smiled. There was nothing David liked better than to win at a test of physical ability. 

“I won that time,” said David triumphantly.

“But Gizmo was in the way,” Lizzie retorted in her best six year old voice, pointing at the cat scurrying away from the much-too-loud children that had invaded his favorite sleeping spot. Aubert thought that Gizmo had taken the most logical course of action and went back to the blocks. Simon and John wanted a very tall structure this time.

“I had to dodge...” David stopped and listened, “Did you hear that?” he asked. Aubert looked up from the blocks and knocked the tower of blocks onto the floor with his elbow as he reached instinctively toward his stunner. His eyes tracked to where David was pointing down the long hallway that they had been running in. He hadn’t heard anything over the latest block tower falling over with a crash.

“That’s too bad, Aubert. You gotta remember to make a bigger base next time. And be careful with your elbow!” the four year old engineer want-to-be, Simon, gave Aubert advice.

“Next time, Simon. Can you retrieve the blocks so we can try again?” said Aubert, distracted by the conversation happening across the room.

Simon went off to collect the blocks that had scattered as they fell on the hardwood floors.

“Hear what?” asked Lizzie excitedly, moving closer to where David was standing. 

 Aubert wanted to know, too, but he wasn’t as much excited as he was concerned. There was a search going on for Xav, David’s eight year old older brother, and the whole Residence was in a secure lock down state. Aubert’s job was to keep the Empress and these children safe while that situation was resolved. He was inside watching and guarding, but there were ImpSec guards positioned at the door should they be needed.

The sound of a flushing toilet sent both kids running across the room to the boys’ Mama with David yelling, “Mama! Mama! There is a monster!” 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think monsters flush,” said Empress Laisa still pointing at the book. Aubert watched as she smiled. She looked tired. It had been a long day for her already and it wasn’t over yet. 

Armsman Aubert got up from the blocks that he had been building with Simon and John over their quiet protests and said, “I’ll deal with it this time, milady,”

He spoke into his wristcom, “Trent. I know the Apartments were cleared before we were allowed in, but we just heard an unexplained noise. I am going to check it out. It is probably nothing, but...”

Head Armsman Trent responded immediately, “Report back when you have more information. I will send Corbon and Bronski as back up. They should be there in a few minutes.”

“Acknowledged,” responded Aubert and he walked down the hallway with David and Lizzie trailing close behind.

Empress Laisa looked up from the book she had been discussing and said, “Thank you, Aubert.” 

As Aubert walked down the hall he decided to start in the closest room to the main living areas. If there was a threat then he needed to not let it get behind him and closer to the Empress or the children. The first door led to Xav’s bedroom.

Aubert opened the door cautiously, but didn’t see anything but the normal decor of an eight year old’s bedroom. Captain Vortalon - The Return of the Son posters graced the walls in striking poses. A Captain Vortalon action figure lay on the floor next to the toy yacht ‘The Kanzian’ waiting for the next adventure. He pushed the door completely open, and his eyes caught a flash of blue and red. He was reaching for his stunner when David called, “Xav! How did you get in here?”

Aubert quickly holstered the weapon and crossed the room snaring the darting boy just before he dove into the closet. As he reached for his wristcom Xav answered, “I climbed in the window.”

“Armsman Trent? I have Xav,” Aubert said calmly into his combadge as he held onto the squirming Xav.

Captain Dragan, Head of Security for the Residence, cut off the response from Head Armsman Trent, “Where are you?”

“In Xav’s bedroom, sir. He is unhurt and appears to be alone.”

“Hold onto him. I will have people there shortly.”

“Yes, sir.”

Armsman Trent finally got through, “I have told the Emperor. Wait for Dragan’s men and your relief to arrive and then escort Xav to the west office. Corbon and Bronski will be there momentarily.”

“Yes, sir,” said Aubert.

Aubert looked at the boy who had now stopped squirming. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?”

******

Xav had been to the west office lots of times. On Friday, he had been there after school to show his Papa the model of Count Vortalon’s castle he had made for his book report. Papa had agreed that it was a very fine castle. He had had escorts there lots of times too, including one trip last week to surprise his father when the kitchen had made cream tarts, just because. Xav couldn’t carry enough by himself and had gotten help from one of the Armsmen. They like cream tarts too.

This time was different, though. No one was smiling. No one was laughing. The ImpSec guards that had come along were particularly unhappy looking and Armsman Aubert was more non-talkative than he had ever been. Usually Aubert was the one most likely to play with Simon and John and their games, but he sometimes played with Xav too. Xav liked playing strategy games with Aubert. Sometimes Armsman Aubert even won. But Armsman Aubert hadn’t said anything to him since the ImpSec guards and Captain Dragan had arrived. 

“Aubert?” asked Xav.

“Yes, Xav?” came the very careful response.

“What happens now?”

“You talk to your father.”

“And what else?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

They had reached the door to the office, but instead of waiting to be let in by the doorman, this time the doorman was waiting for them. He motioned for Xav to enter and then closed the door. Xav was all alone with with his father.

His father sat at a desk across the long entrance to the room. He had been at a comconsole, which he closed and put away as Xav walked into the room. Xav had never seen that expression on his father’s face before. Xav wasn’t sure if his father was relieved or mad- or maybe both. He walked to the desk and stood in front of it.

“Papa?” he asked carefully.

His father, Emperor Gregor, gave him a very serious look. “Yes, Xav?”

“I didn’t mean for Helen to get hurt. She wasn’t supposed to fall. She wasn’t supposed to get hurt at all,” began Xav and the tears began falling.

Xav stood there, as stuck in place as if he had been propped up against a wall. He watched in scared wonder as his father paused, then walked around the desk and led him to the couch in the center of the room. His father usually sat in the large chair facing the couch, even when he was about to tell you good news, but this time he decided to sit next to Xav on the couch. His father reached around him and held him while the tears flowed.

Gradually the tears slowed and came to a stop. Xav looked up with red rimmed eyes and said, “I’m sorry. Really really sorry. Please don’t send me to Kyril Island. I don’t want to be that cold and I would miss everybody.”

Xav tried not to look at his father, but Gregor held Xav at arms length and then moved so that Xav looked directly at him. He almost smiled as he said, “I am not going to send you to Kyril Island. Your mother would not approve.”

Xav looked relieved and smiled a little at the thought of his not normally domineering Mama standing up to his Papa. 

His father continued, “But I do want to know what happened. All of it. Start at the beginning. Go to the end. Leave nothing out.” All traces of the smile were gone and it was back to business.

“Did you talk to Sasha already?”

“Yes.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me everything he could. Now I want you to tell me what happened.”

Xav’s lip trembled a bit and then as he looked out the window he started, “Last week at school Sasha and I decided that when he came over we would play my new game, the one from Grandma and Grandpa Toscane. We had even figured out who was going to be what color. It was all worked out. I was going to be red and Sasha was going to be green. We thought that we could play on top of Cave Rock and it was going to be perfect.” Xav looked back at his father, sitting, watching and listening to every word.

“Go on.”

“Well, I didn’t count on the fact that Sasha has a sister.”

The stunned look on his father’s face betrayed confusion. “Continue.”

“I mean. I know he has a sister. He has lots of sisters. But he has a sister that is the same age as he is. He has Helen and Helen likes to play board games too. She is even pretty good at them, so when they all came over Helen wanted to play Spaceships and Soldiers with Sasha and me and not play with David or Simon or John.” Xav looked down at the table in front of him. “I didn’t want to let her play, but Sasha just kind of assumed that it would be okay. And she wanted to play with us so we all climbed to the top of Cave Rock and started getting it set up.”

Xav looked at his father again, but even he could not guess what was going through his father’s head.

“Helen picked the green pieces. Sasha didn’t mind, he just picked the yellow ones. But I wanted the game to be like we planned and she was messing it up. She wasn’t supposed to be there and she was choosing the pieces that were supposed to be Sasha’s. I just wanted her to go away.”

Xav paused to take a breath, and looked around the room. There was no one else there, not even Brandon, his father’s batman. No one. That never happened. His father always had someone with him. Always. It was part of being Emperor. Except that today it was just him and Xav.

His father’s voice brought Xav back to his story, “What happened next?” Gregor asked.

Xav continued, “Helen finished setting her pieces up first. Sasha and I were talking about the book reports and how I did Captain Vortalon and he did Rusty the Best Horse Ever. And Helen worked faster. So she started to put my pieces on their spots for me but she knocked over my Starship pieces and they fell off Cave Rock and onto the ground. I got mad and pushed her pieces off the board. I didn’t mean for her to fall off. I just wanted her to go away and let me and Sasha play the game. It didn’t work out that way. When she reached for the pieces she kind of tumbled and landed strange on the ground hitting her head and making it bleed.”

Xav didn’t look up. He didn’t want to face his father. It was bad enough that he didn’t get to play his game but now...

“It did more than that,” his father said quietly.

“What?”

“Continue. What happened next?”

“Sasha and I climbed down from the top of Cave Rock. I got down first, but only by a little bit and Sasha pushed past me as soon as he got down. He said that Helen had gotten hurt really bad and that I had to go get help. Helen wasn’t moving and her head was bleeding a lot, but I didn’t want to go because I knew I would get in trouble for pushing her pieces off the board and causing the whole thing.” Xav took a breath and stopped.

Time seemed to stand still. Xav didn’t want to lie to his father but he didn’t want to tell the next part either. No matter what Papa had said earlier about Kyril Island, if he knew about the next part Xav might end up there anyway. Even if Mama didn’t want to let him go. Did Sasha already tell what had happened, or had Sasha kept his promise and if only Xav didn’t say anything more it would be alright?

“All of it. Leave nothing out.” Xav heard his father say sternly.

Xav took a deep breath and then continued in a rush, “Sasha told me to go get his Mama and I told him no. I told him I wouldn’t go unless he promised that he wouldn’t tell how Helen got hurt. He told me that it wouldn’t matter, that no one would get mad, that I should just go. But I didn’t. I made him promise on his name as Vorkosigan that he wouldn’t tell how Helen got hurt. He got really mad and told me I wasn’t acting like an Emperor was supposed to and that I should just go get his Mama. I told him no again. Finally he promised and I went to go get his Mama. But his Mama wouldn’t come so my Mama did. When she finally got there, because Mamas walk slow, and saw that Helen really was hurt, she called Captain Dragan and he used his comlink to tell lots of people to come. That is when I decided that I didn’t want to be there anymore and I left. I ran across the Garden and climbed the tree next to David’s room and then went into my room and hid in the closet. I figured no one could find me in there. No one did find me until I had to use the bathroom and David heard me. He and Lizzie and Armsman Aubert found me.”

His father looked like he was in a daze. “Did you hear the guards looking for you?”

“Yes.” said Xav quietly. “I thought if I stayed hidden long enough they would go away.”

“They would not have gone away,” said Gregor quietly.

“Did Sasha tell you everything?”

His father sat back on the couch and looked at his son. “Not willingly. But, yes, ultimately he did tell everything that happened.”

Xav thought about what that might mean and was concerned for his friend. 

“Is Helen going to be okay?”

“She is in the Infirmary and will be for at least several hours, perhaps a few days. I expect she will make a full recovery in time.”

“So are you really mad at me?”

“Not so much mad as very disappointed. You made some very bad choices,” said his father thoughtfully.

“Are you going to send me to Kyril Island now that you know what I did?” asked Xav with a slight quiver in his voice.

“No. I am still not going to send you to Kyril Island.” 

“Are you going to send Sasha to Kyril Island?”

“No. Sasha will be spending the night with his parents.”

Xav watched as his father stood up from the couch and walked to where he had set his drink earlier. Usually his father drank lemonade on a day like this, but the drink didn’t look very yellow anymore. He picked it up and drank some anyway. It couldn’t have tasted very good. Finally, he sat the empty glass down on the desk.

“Xav,” his father began slowly, “When you went missing Captain Dragan began a search. The area around Cave Rock was the first place he looked, but you weren’t there. The search radius extended to the rest of the Garden and then to the rest of the Residence. Most likely you climbed into your room after the Personal Quarters had been cleared but before that part of the Garden had been searched. Or someone neglected to check the closets thoroughly. I am sure that some appropriate search parameter will be adjusted in light of today’s events, but Captain Dragan could not find you.”

Xav was looking at his father in amused fascination, all that fuss over me?!

His father continued, “The last person known to have seen you was Sasha.”

Xav’s expression grew concerned. His father had said that Sasha would be spending the night with his parents. Did that mean that something bad had happened to Sasha and his parents because of him?

“First, your mother asked him where you were. He said that he didn’t know, and she accepted that and suggested that Captain Dragan be patient. She was escorted back to the Personal Quarters when the initial search of the Garden proved unsuccessful. That was when I started toward the Garden. Captain Dragan asked the next time, and again he too was told by Sasha that Sasha didn’t know where you were. But Captain Dragan knew that he wasn’t telling everything, and asked an Ensign to retrieve a fast-penta kit.”

Xav’s eyes had grown wider and wider as his father had gone on, fear for his friend and cousin growing exponentially.

“Sasha’s father arrived before the fast penta kit did, and he refused to let the interrogation happen, setting up quite a standoff between the two. I arrived as they were starting to figure out whose career would be in tatters at the end of the day. ”

Xav could picture that image in his head. Who would win between Uncle Miles and Captain Dragan? Probably Uncle Miles, but it would be messy...

“And I authorized the interrogation of your cousin over the protests of his father.” his father paused as if lost in some sort of conversation that only he could hear.

“You told Captain Dragan to use fast penta on Sasha because you were worried about me?”

“I did. Although it wasn’t Captain Dragan that did the interrogation- it was Miles. He insisted on doing it himself.”

“Uncle Miles used fast penta on his own son because you told him to, because you were worried about me?”

“Yes. Sasha wouldn’t break his promise to you and tell me what I needed to know.”

“But I didn’t mean to get him that kind of trouble. I wanted to get out of trouble.”

“You did get out of trouble for a little while, but Sasha paid the price for your ten minutes of less trouble. You made Sasha a prisoner to his honor for your gain.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that. Sasha wasn’t supposed to get in trouble at all. He didn’t do anything. He just wanted to play the game. And then for Helen to be okay.”

“He did do something. He disobeyed a direct order from both his father, the Count and Lord Auditor, and his uncle, the Emperor. But he did that to honor a promise he made to you.”

“He should have just told you. Or told his father.”

“You should not have put him in a position to have to decide between his own honor and obeying his Emperor. It is not Sasha’s honor that is at issue here. There are men in the Service who would have chosen to do what he did. And some who would not. He did not take the easy road.”

“But...”

“There is no but here. Your honor is the one that is suspect, because you put your personal gain before his honor. He should never had needed to promise you anything before you went to get help. Accidents happen, and if this had only been a case of Helen falling off Cave Rock we would not be having this conversation. But it didn’t, and you did. And now we are.”

Xav had never seen his father so upset in his entire life. Not when David had spilled a jar of blueberry preserves on his clean shirt right before he was supposed to leave for the Council of Counts. Not when his Komarran grandparents had taken over a dinner for a business meeting. Not even when a carrier with a bunch of soldiers on it had crashed and all of them had died. Xav was scared. Papa just didn’t do this. His Papa was the calmest person on the planet. Usually. Oh, he looked calm even now, but he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry.”

His father walked back to the desk, stared at his now empty glass and said, “I’m sorry too, Xav.” It looked like he was going to say something more, and then he stopped and thought a little longer.

Finally, he must have made some decision, and he walked back to the couch where Xav was sitting. “First, you will create a get well card for Helen, and then find and deliver a suitable gift. Then you will visit on a schedule that is agreeable to all the adults, to provide company for her while she is recovering from the fall. You will do this without any complaint or any hint of unhappiness at her being a girl and you needing to visit.”

“Yes, Papa,” said Xav. That wasn’t so bad. Any excuse to go to Vorkosigan House and talk and play with Sasha was a god thing.

“This is not a playdate for you and Sasha. This is a get well visit for Helen. If Sasha happens to be hanging out with Helen, fine. But you are there to visit HER.”

“Okay,” said Xav, wondering how his Papa had known what he was thinking.

“And second, you will apologize to Sasha and Uncle Miles for the mess you put them through.”

“Uncle Miles?” asked Xav reluctantly. Sasha’s father was the shortest man that Xav knew, but was probably the most intimidating one on the planet - and, worse, he would be really really mad at Xav now. Xav did not want to face him.

“Yes, Miles too.”

“And third, you will research the Battle of Escobar, and then come back and tell me what you learned about honor and leadership.”

Xav sighed. The hard part was going to be facing Uncle Miles. And maybe talking to his Papa about the Battle of Escobar. “Yes, Papa.”

His father walked to the desk and touched a hidden button. Instantly, Brandon appeared. “Brandon, please ask the Imp Sec guards outside to escort Xav back to his room. He will be working on a project for me for the rest of the afternoon. Alone.” 

Brandon nodded. “Yes, sire.”

“And send in Captain Dragan and Armsman Aubert.”

“Yes, sire.”

******

 

It had been a terribly long day for everyone, and Laisa was ready for bed long before the children were. She could have retired early and left them to the care of the staff and guards that were always available, but even the normally adaptive and competent staff would have had a hard time dealing with the energy and exuberance in the Residence tonight. 

Due to the events of the day, the Vorkosigan children had not left until after dinner, and together the group of children made an impressive and loud gathering wherever they went. Thankfully, shortly after dinner had been eaten, Ekaterin had returned and the Vorkosigan children had been rounded up and taken home to be tended to by their own staff. Count Vorkosigan was staying with Lady Helen in the Infirmary for the night, but he was unlikely to require anything from her.

Laisa sat exhausted on the couch in the living area. There were toys scattered in the corners of the room. She sighed and mentally noted to have the boys clean up the mess in the morning. It was supposed to have been done tonight, but she had been too tired to insist before sending them all to bed. 

Xav had been extra quiet, as could be expected. He was a very sensitive child and wanted to make his Papa proud. Unfortunately, today hadn’t gone very well for that, and he was feeling low. She would have to find out from Gregor the details of what had happened. 

The other boys had been filled with excitement. David and Lizzie had played Monsters in the Closet all afternoon. They had even convinced Simon and John and Taurie and Sophie to play too. In light of the earlier events of the day, the Armsmen had joined in as well. It had ended up a huge game of team Hide and Seek. All the children had had a great time. Probably the Armsmen too, come to think about it. Everyone had needed a little joviality after all the stress of the afternoon.

Laisa dozed on the couch waiting for Gregor to return from whatever work was keeping him up tonight. At about midnight she heard the voice of the Imp Sec guard stationed at the door to their quarters say something. Moments later the door opened and she heard “Good night, Sire.” 

Gregor had replied politely as always, but tonight it seemed more strained than usual. “Good night, ensign.” The door closed silently as he crossed into their quarters.

Laisa had never seen her husband in such a state as the one she saw him in now. She had seen the anguish in his face when his soldiers had died. She had seen the frustration when good plans went astray. She had even seen him angry when the Council of Counts had been particularly obstinent. But she had never seen him as he was now. This wasn’t anger or sadness - this was something else. And for the first time ever, she felt fear in the presence of her husband.

All traces of drowsy exhaustion vanished in an instant. Something was terribly wrong. Wrong in the worst possible way. 

She saw her husband glance across the room and notice her sitting on the couch. The tormented expression left his face instantly. He tried to smile, and said, “You didn’t need to stay up for me.”

“I was concerned about you,” Laisa said softly. And now I am even more concerned, she thought to herself.

He nodded but didn’t add anything further. 

“Xav was reading about Escobar tonight. He said that you told him to.”

“I did. Did he tell you anything else?”

“Not so much. He asked when we could go shopping for a present for Helen. I told him that we could go on Tuesday after school. He seemed okay with that.”

“I told him that he needs to create a get well card for Helen and give her a suitable gift. And apologize to Miles and Sasha.”

“It sounds like he is trying to do the first part of that,” Laisa paused, “But I don’t understand about the second. Wasn’t Helen’s fall an accident? And what does he need to apologize to Miles and Sasha for?”

Laisa listened in stunned fascination as Gregor filled her in on the afternoon’s events. “You ordered Sasha’s interrogation? Over a child’s fall? And another child’s refusal to answer your questions.”

“I did. And I would do it again.” Gregor was every inch an Emperor at this moment. She had only seen this part of him in the Council of Counts. Normally the Emperor job didn’t intrude in their private quarters. At least as much as possible. “Lady Helen will be fine. But if she had died we needed to know. I do what is necessary for the Imperium. Always.”

“But what about Miles? You put him in an awful position.”

“Miles understands. He knows about the cost of being in charge.”

“And Ekaterin?”

“Miles will explain. If necessary, I will explain. But it won’t be necessary. She will understand. She is Vor.” Gregor said with certainty. 

Laisa had lived on Barrayar for almost ten years, but sometimes it was still a very foreign place. Her mind boggled in confusion. Finally she asked, “What about Xav?”

Laisa watched as the confident and self assured Emperor faded and the worried father took his place. He began pacing the room slowly.

“Xav...” Gregor stopped. “Xav will have to find his own way through this. He will have to earn the trust of his cousin again and it is much harder to re-earn trust than it is to lose it.” He began walking again.

“What about you?” she asked cautiously. “You seem to be taking this...”

Gregor stopped pacing, a habit he had picked up from Miles no doubt, and stared at his wife. She felt those dark eyes burrowing into her soul and did not look away. The silence dragged on, but finally he spoke, “I am worried.”

“Worried about what?” asked Laisa curiously. 

“I am worried about the future of the empire.”

Finally she understood, “Xav is eight. He has plenty of time to grow up and be a true Vor. Give him time. Let him learn from today before you write him off. Didn’t you ever try to avoid being punished as a child?”

Gregor sat heavily in a conveniently placed chair. “Not really. I was a very obedient child.”

Laisa looked at her husband thoughtfully, “You never tried to cover up when something you did didn’t work out the way you intended?”

Gregor continued, “Yes. I tried to cover up my mistakes a few times. And then I learned to make fewer mistakes.”

Laisa looked curiously at him. The obedient child was the only version she had ever gotten before, from anyone. Even Aral and Cordelia had never been willing to speak of any trouble the young emperor had gotten into.

Gregor sighed. “I did very very well in my classes at school. Very well. Except for this part of math class we had when I was ten or so. It was before I started at the Pre-Prep School. Anyway, it was on four dimensional planes. And I didn’t understand. Never before had I encountered something that I didn’t understand immediately, and I didn’t want to ask questions because I thought it would make me look stupid. Someone would talk. So even though I tried to do the homework, I didn’t do very well. When the test came around, I failed it. Since I had never before received anything but exemplary marks on any exam, Master Fredtov was quite stunned when I received a failing grade on the test. As was standard procedure, I then had to take the paper home, get it signed, and return it the next day. I didn’t do it. I hid the paper in the bottom of my desk and pretended that it didn’t happen. He asked me about it after class daily for the rest of the week, but I still didn’t return it. Eventually, he stopped. After more than a week of nothing I thought I had gotten away with it, but it didn’t happen that way. I was called into Master Fredtov’s office at the end of the day one day where I was stunned to see Uncle Aral and Aunt Cordelia waiting. Master Fredtov produced a copy of my test paper and handed it to me and walked out again leaving me with two very puzzled adults and one very bad test paper. He had apparently asked for a conference with them and this was the first appointment he could get. I was terrified but at this point there was nothing I could do but hand the paper to Aunt Cordelia and ask her to sign it. So I did. She took the paper from me, saw the subject and the failing grade and gave me a very puzzled look, then handed it to Uncle Aral. He looked at it, handed it back to Aunt Cordelia and gave me an even more puzzled look.” Gregor had a faraway look in his eyes, remembering. 

Laisa smiled. This was a story she had never heard before. 

“Uncle Aral quite calmly said, ‘Explain.’”

Laisa could imagine the force behind that single word even said calmly. Aral Vorkosigan was a man of incredible authority and even more incredible power.

“I was utterly terrified as I began, but I explained that I just didn’t understand it and I was afraid of asking for help and that then I didn’t know what to do when the test came around and...” Gregor paused. It was obvious that he was reliving the experience of confronting the fear of disappointing the man who was like a father to him. 

Taking a deep breath Gregor continued, “When I finally stopped jibbering and looked up, they were both giving me the most bizarre look.”

Laisa could imagine that too. While Aral Vorkosigan was indeed a very imposing figure, he was not an ogre and would not have been that upset. 

“Uncle Aral told me that it was perfectly fine to not understand everything the first time or even the second or third, but that I needed to learn how to ask for help when I needed it. He continued that the only way to learn from mistakes is to expose them to the light of day. Hidden mistakes rot and foul the whole situation.”

“Aunt Cordelia had really looked at the test paper while I jabbered on and had figured out what precisely I had not understood. She said that she could teach me about four dimensional planes and that she had rather enjoyed it when she was in the survey.”

“I stood there looking rather like a fool, trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. Aunt Cordelia reached across the teacher’s desk and picked up a pen and signed the top of the paper and handed both to Uncle Aral who also signed it. I only needed one signature, but I didn’t dare contradict her and Uncle Aral.”

“We left the signed paper and the pen on the desk and walked out of the office a few minutes later. Uncle Aral stopped and talked to Master Fredtov on the way out and handed him a card. Master Fredtov looked surprisingly relieved after that brief conversation, although I don’t know if they ever spoke again.” 

“I spent the next few weeks working with Aunt Cordelia on four dimensional planes. It turned out that I had misunderstood something weeks earlier that four dimensional planes depended on and I was never going to understand until I went back and truly learned the older material. I hated every second of learning it, because it showed Aunt Cordelia all the things I didn’t know. But I did eventually understand it. And she never once got upset with me for asking all those questions, or for taking time away from Miles. Aunt Cordelia’s test on the subject was far harder than Master Fredtov’s. She was the one who decided that I needed to take the completed test to his office and show him. She must have arranged with him to be there early one morning, because he wasn’t usually an early morning person. Anyway, I showed him the test and apologized for not getting the first one signed. He was very kind about it and suggested I remember all the lessons I learned from the experience.” 

Resigned, Gregor said, “So, yes. Of course, I did. But I never put my friends in harm’s way to do so.”

“Or your parents figured it out before resorting to fast penta to do so,” said Laisa. Cordelia could easily have seen through the deception today. And Aral would have known where to find Xav. Either would have been patient enough not to have needed the fast penta.

Gregor exploded. “My parents were dead before I was six. My father was a sociopathic killer who wanted nothing more than to feed his own pleasures no matter the cost. His death was the goal of a war that should never have happened. My mother died trying to protect me from a man who wanted to kill me to take the throne for his own.” 

Laisa had never seen him rage like this. He wasn’t very loud, but the intensity was nothing she had ever seen. She retreated into the corner of the couch and presented the smallest target possible to the distraught man in front of her. The fear from earlier in the night was back. She was glad the children, especially Xav, were in their rooms asleep. She moved her thumb to the panic button that would have Imp Sec guards in the room instantly. If he made a move toward her or the children...

“My grandfather is the one who ordered my father killed and the thousands of innocents that died with him. Farther up the family tree is Mad Emperor Yuri and even more vicious and vile acts. My parents would not have done any better.”

Minutes passed... and then just as suddenly as the rage had started, it was gone. Laisa watched as the man she knew and loved returned. He sat down in the chair again and began, “I’m sorry.”

Laisa unwound from the corner and moved her thumb away from the button. She wasn’t sure if he noticed the motion or not. 

Gregor continued, “You are probably right. Either Aral or Cordelia could probably have dealt with the situation better than I did. They had more experience dealing with the day to day issues of dealing with discipline. Miles probably could have too.” He paused and looked at the black and silver of his clothes. “But they aren’t here, and they aren’t the ones who have to make the decisions. I am, and I am just doing the best that I can.”

Laisa was confused. Plots in the Council of Counts couldn’t bring him to this state. Trade issues with Komarr and Sergyar could not bring him to this state. But the antics of an eight year old child could bring the emperor to his knees. And now what was she going to do?

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Mama! I want to come out,” came the impatient voice down the hallway. John was awake and ready to get on with the day. Since the unfortunate incident with the finger paint before breakfast, the boys were supposed to stay in their rooms until an adult told them it was alright to come out.

Laisa wanted to pull the covers over her head. This was one of those moments when a little less privacy would be nice. But, because she and Gregor had wanted their family space to be private and hopefully not interrupted, they had chosen to put all the bedrooms and a living space together and not have anyone allowed in except by invitation. It meant that late night movies and early morning breakfasts were family affairs. The kitchen and dining area was just through a door but it stayed closed until they were ready for it to be opened. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Today it meant that no one else was going to get two year old John out of his room unless that someone came from in this room. 

“Mama! I all done sleeping. I want to go play blocks.”

Laisa rolled over in bed hoping to send Gregor to watch John play blocks while she lounged in bed a little while longer. He typically got up earlier and didn’t mind this early morning supervision duty. It was his quality time with the boys. She expected to find her husband snoozing away. She had gone to bed before he had come home last night. How he could sleep through kid noise was beyond her. 

But he wasn’t there. He must have gotten up early and gone to his office to try and get some work done. He had gotten in late night before last too, but he hadn’t slept well in the last week or so. The incident with Xav had bothered him far more than he was letting on; honestly, it was bothering him far more than it reasonably should, but one doesn’t tell the Emperor that, even if one is the Emperor’s wife.

“I’m coming, John,” she finally called as she threw back the covers and crawled out of bed. As she threw on a robe and walked down the hall she glanced back and realized that the other part of the bed hadn’t been slept in at all.

“Mama. Is okay now, Simon is gonna play ball wiff me.” 

She would have to deal with Gregor later. Right now, she needed to protect the windows from the aim of a two year old and find something else for them to play with in the morning.

 After discovering that the ball in question was a large blow up beach ball, Laisa calmed down significantly. Simon had given her a look and said, “Mama, I know you wouldn’t want us throwing the real balls inside.” She gave him a hug and a kiss. He smiled and said, “Besides, this ball does cool things when we put it over the vents!” 

“Let’s get the other boys and eat breakfast,” she said as they walked to the table. The usual assortment of breakfast foods and several happy smiling faces were waiting for them when they crossed out of the apartment and into the dining room and kitchen. 

Summer vacation was almost over and school would be starting for Xav and David in a few weeks. As a last fun activity, she and Ekaterin had wanted to go to the water park. The park was usually open to everyone, but they had booked it for a private party just for their group this afternoon. The original idea had been to just go some afternoon, but the normally quite calm Head of Imperial Security had very politely and very very emphatically said no to that idea. Instead, renting the park for this smaller group outing had been proposed instead. Now that the day was here, she was glad that she wasn’t going to have to deal with watching the boys and being surrounded by other people. She just wasn’t in that sort of mood. The group hadn’t stayed quite as small as they had originally thought. Many of the Armsmen had families and they had been invited as well. All told, close to a hundred people would be there, plus whatever staff the water park maintained. But it was going to be a good time.

The boys had been looking at the information about the water park for weeks now. Which slides were highest and fastest? Which ones had the most turns? Who could go in the wave pool? How tall exactly did you have to be to go on which slides? Who could go to Parrot Island, the younger kids’ play area? Who could go on the tall, fast slides? What was the best way to find the ‘secret’ pirate cove? 

While Laisa didn’t remember all the answers, she was fairly sure David knew every detail about the big slides and Xav knew every height restriction and safety rule. Simon probably knew where to find every stairwell and how to find secret passages to everywhere. John just thought it was all interesting but didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about.

“Mama, is Sasha going to be there?” asked Xav around a mouthful of groats covered in syrup.

“As far as I know, he will be there,” Laisa said. She watched as he swallowed his groats carefully and looked somewhat unhappy. It took her a moment to remember that Gregor had told him he needed to apologize to Sasha. And to Miles.

Xav went back to eating his groats, but he didn’t look as excited as he had moments before.

“What about Lizzie? We wanted to try out the Mega Cannonball Slide. It has three curves and starts way up high,” said David gesturing with his hands to show just how high the slide was.

“Lizzie should be there too,” replied Laisa and before there were anymore questions, she said, “I expect that Helen will stay home, but that all the other Vorkosigans will be there.” She looked directly at Xav, “Uncle Miles should be there too.”

“Mama, I don’t wanna go on the big slides,” said John, looking at his big brothers.

“But it is fun!” exclaimed the daredevil David. “You can go super fast and pretend that you are launching out of a real cannon! Like Captain Brandt in the The Circus that Ate the City!”

Laisa smiled at David’s exuberant exclamation. This was the child who climbed everything and always wanted to go faster. If one of the boys was going to do something dangerous, this was the one.

“I’ll keep you company, John,” said Simon. “There is an area with smaller slides and a waterfall. We can go find the secret pirate cove. Maybe we can take a ball and see how it goes down the slides.” Simon was not as fond of heights as his older brothers. Simon preferred building things to climbing them. He would probably go on some of the slides and skip the ‘most exciting’ ones. “Or a boat! Mama, you think I could send the toy boat down the slides?”

“No one is going to force you to go on a slide you don’t want to go on,” she said looking at both Simon and John and then to the daredevil, David, who would badger the younger ones to do things they regretted almost instantly. “If they don’t want to go on the big slides they don’t have to, even if they make the height requirement!” she told the slightly, but only slightly, less loud little boy. And then back to Simon, “And you can bring the ball and the boat, but I don’t know if they will allow them in the pool. Now, eat your breakfast.”

As soon as the eating was done, the boys scattered to their own pursuits: Simon and John went to the Garden, with Armsman Aubert trailing behind, to continue building their sand castle town, David to the Garden also, but not to build anything- he wanted to see how fast he could ride his bike around the Garden path. Since the Armsmen didn’t really want to do laps with David, instead, Armsman Daniels had brought along a stopwatch and was timing him. Xav went to his room to find a game and then went hunting someone to play it with him. The lucky - or not so lucky - Armsman Turner decided to play and they sat at the dining room table setting up games pieces. Laisa started working on her own list of things she needed to get do before going to the water park. 

* * *

Laisa looked at the water park from her vantage point between all the places her brood was likely to want to go. To one side were the changing areas; the Armsmen and the boys were there now. After they were done, the families would go, not due to security issues, just due to there being a limited number of changing areas. To the other side lay the path to the smaller kid area and looping river. That would be where Simon and John would probably spend most of their time. The ball and boat had not been allowed in the water, but the boys didn’t seem to be too concerned. Straight ahead and up were the stairs to the tall slides and across to the wave pool. She could hear the waves splashing against their tank. Whoever was watching David would have their hands full today. And finally behind her were lounge chairs, the perfect place to sit and relax. Maybe she could catch up on her reading today... 

It seemed to be swarming with people even though it was not even close to capacity with only her small group. She was profoundly grateful that she wasn’t there with the amassed crowds of Vorbarr Sultana. Sometimes it was a good thing that ImpSec took such great pains to secure the area. It meant that she didn’t have worry about it.

Originally Gregor had planned to come along, but he had decided that morning to stay home and get some work done instead. She hadn’t been surprised. It was hard to admit even to herself, but she had been relieved that he had stayed home. He had been a bear of a person recently, grumpy and cold and even more distant than usual. The boys had noticed that Papa wasn’t home as much as usual but thought it was some sort of work related problem. Laisa knew better- if it was some sort of work related problem, the problem was HIM.

Two small boys and a single Armsman approached from the changing areas. The boys were dressed in Captain Vortalon swimwear and the Armsman in swimwear of black and silver. She hadn’t known that there was uniform swimwear.

“Mama, can we go dat way?” asked John pointing with his small fingers toward the area labelled Pirate Cove. Simon looked expectantly for the answer as well. He and Simon each been assigned their own Armsman for this outing, but curiously only Armsman Aubert was with them. 

“A moment, John,” said Laisa and looked inquiringly at Aubert, “Where is Gallo? Isn’t he supposed to be watching John?”

“He is with David, milady. Daniels was watching David this morning and took a spill trying to keep up with him. He will be fine in a few days but his knee isn’t up to a water park today. Trent decided that I could double up with these two, but that David needed someone watching him and only him. Gallo will be watching him.”

“Mama, we will be good. We will even stay together,” said Simon, happy enough for an excuse to not brave the tall slides and instead hang out with John. John eagerly nodded his approval of the deal. He would enjoy the company.

“Trent is probably right about David,” said Laisa to Aubert, “The little daredevil definitely needs watching.”

“Yes, milady.”

“So, can we go to the Pirate Cove, Mama?” Simon asked, this time.

“Yes, but don’t give Aubert a hard time.”

“We won’t,” said two excited little boys, each grabbing a hand of Aubert and hurrying him toward Pirate Cove.

Laisa watched as they went off in search of water, treasure, and excitement. She was sure they would find all three.

Next to appear was the young daredevil and his keeper for the day. David was wearing a smaller version of the black and silver swimwear the Armsmen were wearing. 

“Look, Mama! I look like I could be a cannon ball! I am going to go really fast and never stop.”

Laisa smiled and was very glad she wasn’t going to need to keep up with this child all afternoon and instead that joy went to Gallo. And Gallo really did look excited. Far more so than practically anyone who had gotten to watch David had been. David was known for his crazy daredevil stunts and antics. No one wanted to be responsible for this child’s safety. If Gallo and David worked well today, then maybe Gallo would find himself moved off night shift duty sooner than expected. Especially if Daniels’s knee took a while to heal.

“Milady,” said Gallo as he approached Laisa.

“Mama, can we go? Now?”

“Yes, you may go. Be careful and don’t run on the wet stairs and listen to Gallo,” she called at the quickly vanishing figures. Gallo was keeping up with David and not running at the same time. Laisa was impressed. 

Now, where was Xav? He wasn’t usually the first one to be ready, but he wasn’t usually last either. John usually took that honor. Buttons, zippers, and snaps caused trouble for his small fingers. He must have had help today. Where was Xav? There he was, walking slowly towards her talking to Trent. She wondered what they could be talking about. What was the problem? He had been looking forward to this outing as much as any of them.

“Hi, Mama,” Xav said as he walked to where she was standing. He looked nervous, as if he was afraid that she was going to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. More trouble? She didn’t think so, there hadn’t been time and Trent didn’t look concerned. Trent stood a polite distance away. This wasn’t another hi and can I go play conversation, then. Hmm.

“Hi, Xav,” she said sitting on the edge of one of the lounge chairs. “What’s going on?”

Xav sat on the edge of a chair facing her. “I...”

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of many voices. The Vorkosigans had arrived and their entourage with them. Most of them headed to the changing areas, including the little Vorkosigan girls with women attendants that must have been hired just for the day. Ekaterin would have thought of everything. The towering head of Miles’s Armsman peered above the crowd and soon the decidedly short Miles Vorkosigan was walking in her direction with Lord Sasha nearby. 

Xav’s expression had gone from merely nervous to downright terrified. He switched chairs and sat next to her, not looking up at the approaching people.

Trent nodded and politely moved to allow Miles and Sasha past. The Vorkosigan Armsman most often seen with Miles, Roic, waited there also.

Miles was not dressed for the water and neither was Sasha. “I figured we could wait for a minute while the girls got changed. They won’t be very long. Lizzie wants to find David and try out the big slides and the little girls... well, they might take a while.”

“Is Ekaterin coming?” asked Laisa, she hadn’t seen her come in, but...

“No,” replied Miles regretfully, “She is home with Helen. Helen couldn’t come and needed the company that only a mother could bring today. She was upset that she couldn’t come.” Sasha nodded his agreement. “We hired a couple of the Armsmen’s daughters to watch the little girls in the water; they are taking it in shifts so they can go on the big slides too. Nikki and Arthur are going to watch Lizzie and Sasha.”

Laisa grinned remembering some of the stories about Miles as a child, “You aren’t going to go on the slides yourself?”

Miles grinned back, “I had to promise that I wouldn’t before I left the house. Ekaterin is not interested in me getting hurt doing something crazy right now. No matter how much fun the Flying Cannonball looks.”

Without looking up, Xav interrupted the small talk and began, “Sasha, I’m really sorry that Helen got hurt. I am really really really sorry that I didn’t listen to you when you told me to get help. I am sorry the whole thing happened. Will you still be my friend?” He looked up hopefully at Sasha.

“Yep,” said Sasha to his cousin and friend. “Everybody messes up sometimes. I wish I had done things differently too. I’ll still be your friend.” A look of relief washed across Xav’s face as Sasha continued, “Helen still wants to play the game. We just gotta wait until she can sit up and see right. We can talk on the slides.” Sasha turned to Miles, “Can I go get changed now? The girls should be done soon.”

Miles agreed and Sasha ran off to where Nikki and Arthur were in line to get in the changing rooms. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, Xav,” he called.

Xav’s smile retreated as he began again, “Uncle Miles, I am really sorry about everything. I just wanted to play Spaceships and Soldiers with Sasha and nothing worked out the way it was supposed to. I am really sorry. Really really sorry. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t stop talking to me. Please don’t change...”

Laisa was stunned, not about the apologies, she had guessed that was what had made Xav so worried. She was stunned that he thought Miles would hate him or stop talking to him. Was Xav thinking that Gregor’s quiet and overtime was his fault? It wasn’t! Or was it?

“I accept your apology, Xav. Nothing happened the way it was supposed to that afternoon for me either.” Laisa watched as Miles studied the boy in front of him, “I don’t hate you and I am not going to stop talking to you. In fact, I think talking more would be a good thing. Maybe some time when there isn’t a water park to explore.”

“Sure! Maybe we can talk about Spaceships and Soldiers or Captain Vortalon.” The relief was evident. Xav would happily talk to his uncle about anything and everything. Laisa was surprised at how envious she was that Miles could talk to Xav when Gregor was so obviously failing miserably.

Sasha and Lizzie, with Nikki and Arthur close behind, all with appropriate swim wear on, ran up to them. “Can we go, now?” Taurie and Sophie arrived seconds later with the first of their watchers. Everyone anxiously awaited the parental response. 

With an amused grin, Laisa and Miles chorused, “Yes!” and the group scurried off in search of the thrills of the water park. 

Just the two parents were left. Miles began unloading a briefcase onto a nearby table. It appeared that he was going to try to get some work done while the kids played. That made sense. With Ekaterin spending so much time with Helen, he had probably gotten behind in other things.

“We are going to go shopping for a present for Helen next week. Do you think she would like it we found her a copy of the game they were going to play?” asked Laisa.

“Probably,” Miles replied pausing in his emptying of his bag, “but she can’t play it right now.” He looked concerned and a bit worried. “She isn’t supposed to do anything that makes her think and she can’t see straight. She spends a lot of time with her eyes closed complaining she is very very bored.”

“Oh,” said Laisa, “I guess we will think of something else then. Something that will be better for now.” She paused and then decided, “Would Tuesday be alright for us to come by and deliver the gift?”

“Sure. Ekaterin is not going far, right now and would probably love the company. I don’t think anything is planned anyway. My mother is coming to visit, but she isn’t due until later in the week. I think Friday, but you never really know. The ship she is coming in on might be early or, more likely, late.”

“Does Gregor know that your mother is coming?” asked Laisa curiously.

Miles looked up from the pile of documents on the table, “I am sure it was included in his morning briefing when she left Sergyar. But I don’t know more than that. She was planning on coming over the summer and got busy with other things. Helen’s fall was an excuse to come.”

“It will be nice to see her again. Do you know how long she will be staying?” asked Laisa eagerly, wondering if there would be time to arrange for Cordelia to come to the Residence. She would love to just sit and talk to her mother-in-law. And if Cordelia had ideas on how to help Gregor with whatever this was, she would be more than happy to listen. Betan psychology had a reputation for its thoroughness and she could certainly use the help.

“I don’t. At least a few weeks, though. I think the hope is that she will give Ekaterin a bit of a break from Helen. I will make sure that she knows that you want a visit. I don’t think there is anything on her calendar yet,” said Miles. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” asked Laisa.

“Not really. Helen wants Ekaterin most of the time. I am a reasonable substitute when necessary, but... And then there is the rest of the things that need to be done. Everyone is doing the best they can but it is hard,” Miles replied with a numb sort of recitation. It was obvious that there was much that needed to be done that only he or Ekaterin could do. He could only delegate so much.

“Do you have any idea when Helen will feel better?” she asked. If it lasted a long time, then some things would have to be shelved for a long time. She hoped it wouldn’t come to that because she knew that Ekaterin’s gardens would be on that shelf. Laisa knew how much that outlet provided to help keep her friend going when Miles was away. And Miles would get assigned to go somewhere eventually; it was part of the job of Auditor.

“Not really. It has been nearly two weeks now and she is improving, just slower than anyone, especially Helen, would like. The doctors aren’t concerned, yet. Mostly they say we just need to be patient and wait.” Miles finished shuffling the papers and sat down heavily in a chair.

“Waiting is hard.” Laisa could not agree more as she nodded her head and looked out over the water park. She could hear the distant sound of laughter and the splash of the fountains. Someone was having a good day.

“It is. I am beginning to understand what I must have put my parents through as a child with all the surgeries and treatments. I thought it was normal. I thought everyone had to do what I did. They knew better, and still had to be patient and then be brave when I did all the crazy things that I did.” The faraway look in his eyes suggested he was remembering some particular event... Laisa always liked hearing stories of Miles’ childhood adventures; sometimes Gregor even appeared in them. 

“I have heard stories about how many bones you broke and how many crazy things you did,” she said invitingly. 

“They are all probably true, too,” said Miles with a grin. “I was as much of a daredevil as David and Lizzie are, but with fragile bones. I broke more bones than I care to count.”

“Did you hit your head like Helen?” she asked.

“No,” he replied still grinning. “Helen found a bone to break that I didn’t break as a child. We have joked that she didn’t need to find her own path quite so early. Bothari was terribly protective. He was very very careful that I didn’t hit my head. He was very good to me.”

Laisa didn’t quite know where the conversation should go from here. She had never met the esteemed Sargeant Bothari. She knew of him only through the stories and those made little sense. Steering the conversation back to safer quarters, “Your mother will know what to do and just the right things to say.”

Miles jumped on the change of topic eagerly, “I hope so. I am really looking forward to her coming. Sometimes even when you have children of your own, you really want your mother to be there.”

“Has Ekaterin’s mother come?” asked Laisa hoping to keep the conversation in a happier vein.

Miles suppressed a look of exasperation. “Yes, she lasted three days in the house before leaving. The level of excitement in our house was more than she could take. Ekaterin was trying to run interference between her and everyone else while dealing with Helen. I think everyone was happier after she returned home. She has sent some very beautiful pictures of the countryside near her home and is sending a message a day with stories from when Ekaterin was little and the things she and her brothers got into. Even Sasha and the little girls are enjoying the messages. Right now, everyone is looking forward to a trip to South Continent after Winterfair to hear more of the stories.” Miles sorted some of papers. “Have your parents visited recently?”

“Not since earlier in the summer. They were here for John’s birthday. I think we are planning on a visit after Winterfair too.”

“It is a good time to be someplace warm. No blizzards on Komarr and no blizzards on South Continent then either.”

Miles looked over Laisa’s shoulder and off to the distance. Laisa turned around to see a small army of children coming their way. 

“Mama, we are hungry,” said John as he huddled under his towel.

“We are, too,” was the immediate response from the other towel covered children.

Thankfully someone had prepared for just this possibility and Laisa turned to find a table covered in snack food waiting.

“The snacks are over there,” she said and the children happily walked to the food.

Miles went back to his work and Laisa sat in the lounge chair. She was going to read the book... 

* * *

The boys had eaten dinner early. All the fun at the water park had exhausted them. Even David had been tired and willingly gone to bed without complaint. Laisa had gotten to read her book. It was a Time of Isolation romance novel that Professora Vorthys had said was very good. Laisa had enjoyed it, but wasn’t ready for more of the same. She would much rather a good business proposal, but sometimes the need for small talk about the currently popular book among the ladies was useful too. Anyway, the book was done. 

She was sitting on the couch with a bowl of late summer berries watching the business news on the holovid when Gregor came in from his long day. He looked as if he hadn’t gotten enough sleep in days. 

“Anything interesting happening?” he asked pleasantly.

“Not really. People are moving to Vordarian District to get jobs at the Space Port. One of the new plants is working well in the desert areas. And MPVK Enterprises got a contract for a new ration bar,” Laisa replied giving him the synopsis of the news broadcast that had just finished. “You probably knew all of that already.”

Gregor sat down on the couch and absently ate a berry. “Yes. The drift of people to Vordarian District has been going on for a long time. He is offering good wages and people like working there. There are people who are moving away too because of the ‘strange’ people who are welcome there, but that has been going on for a long time too.”

He plucked another berry from the bowl and continued, “The new plant is a cross between some other ones that had done well in the desert before. The hope is that this new plant will provide something for the animals to eat to hasten the terraforming. It is still very very slow out there, in part because it is so hot and dry.”

Laisa handed him the bowl and let him continue talking. This was the most he had said to her in a week. Even if it was business and a rehash of things that she had seen on the news earlier. “And the ration bars? Are they any good?”

Gregor laughed, “Yes. Mark was determined that ration bars should taste good as well as be good for you. Once he figured out the nutritional requirements he tried out a dozen flavors in Hassadar before submitting the proposal that won. The people of Hassadar have been taste testing for him for months. They are quite tired of eating them. Not tired enough to stop, mind you, Mark pays well in addition to the ration bars. Miles said that the whole area was quite happy when a final decision was made. They are happy to be producing the bars too. It is more jobs and Mark sourced all the ingredients locally that he could. Vorkosigan District is going to be the supplier of ration bars for all of ImpSec. I believe the secret ingredient was the bug butter.”

Laisa smiled, “Did you taste test?”

“No, although Miles did. The one Miles liked best was not the ultimate winner though. Mark is considering creating a version for non-military use and selling different flavors. I think that is next after he gets the production levels for the military ones,” said Gregor. “I did get to taste the winner though. It is much better than what it replaced. Thankfully I don’t eat rat bars very often, but if I did I would appreciate the new kind. I didn’t try the one Miles liked. Maybe when Mark gets the production going I can get some, if you would like to try them...” said Gregor with an amused and confused look.

“I don’t know that I would want to try them, but the boys might. Especially David,” said Laisa. “He likes trying new things, even new ration bars.”

“How was the water park?” asked Gregor.

“We had a good time,” Laisa paused. “Xav apologized to both Sasha and Miles.”

“Did Miles take it well?”

“Miles was very generous about it. He said that things had gone badly for everyone that day.”

“That they did.”

“And Sasha?”

“Xav and Sasha spent the entire afternoon playing together on the water slides. I think they are back to being the best friends ever. I am not sure they were ever anything else.”

Laisa braved the conversation that she had been avoiding for the past week, “And how are you doing?”

The brave and happy front vanished as Gregor looked up with his eyes almost overflowing with tears, “Not as well as everyone else, it seems.”

Of all the reactions she had pondered, this one wasn’t on the list. Laisa moved the bowl from between them and moved closer. It was good they were sitting because standing she would never be able to reach high enough to get her arms around his shoulders. She hugged him tightly as he sobbed in the tears of a small child, horribly heartbroken. There was nothing she could tell him, nothing to say to make it all better, nothing except to just be there and hold him.

The sobbing lasted a long while, and then he started to relax into her shoulder. She gently walked the exhausted and spent Emperor to bed. He was soundly asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He would wake up in the morning, still in his day clothes, and remember what had happened, but she wasn’t going to try to move him now. 

Laisa walked back to the living area and made an Imperial decision. She didn’t usually act as Empress but on rare occasions it was very useful. She touched the comconsole.

“Yes, milady,” came the instantaneous reply.

“Please cancel all of Gregor’s appointments for tomorrow,” she said with an authority she didn’t normally use.

“Certainly, milady,” he assented, “Is there anything else? A doctor perhaps? Is the Emperor unwell?”

“No, he just needs a day to rest and spend with his family. He has been working too hard and it caught up with him.”

“Of course, milady. It shall be done,” he said. “If you need anything else....”

Laisa nodded and turned off the comconsole. She went back to bed and stared at the man who slept there. A man with the cares of three worlds, the man she loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Miles spread out his overgrown pile of flimsies on the table in the Yellow Parlor.  The accumulated paperwork covered the entire surface, and more waited.  He had made significant progress during Helen’s convalescence, but not nearly enough to eliminate the backlog.  His final Auditorial report still needed to be completed.

Many of the assorted necessary things for running Vorkosigan House had become his job while Ekaterin had stayed with Helen.  It had made Miles appreciate the wonder that his wife was all over again.  She was truly an expert.  How she kept four children, the many assorted affairs of Vorkosigan House, the district, and her landscaping business all running smoothly was beyond his understanding.  He only had to juggle being an Auditor and that was taxing enough.

But today had been a good day; today, the doctors had finally determined that Helen could ‘do something other than watch the walls’.  During the last week, the headaches had finally stopped and the double vision had gone away.  Helen was supposed to be very careful not to hit her head again and to stop if the headaches or double vision came back, but that was far better than the unhappy solution of waiting and waiting some more.  At last Helen was improving and she was solidly on the road to recovery.  It would be a long road, but at least the way was clearer now.

Of course, his mother had arrived yesterday, and that had helped too. She could walk into any situation and have it figured out in minutes.  She had looked at the exhausted Ekaterin and promptly sent her to her gardens to relax for a while, and had taken over dealing with Helen, while organizing a scavenger hunt for the other children-all in the first hour.  The whirlwind of organization that she trailed was incredible.  Miles was in awe of the women in his life.

Today, the children, all of them, were outside playing.  Helen was enjoying the freedom and everyone, including several of the Armsmen, was enjoying the water toys that his mother had produced.  She had taken the younger kids out earlier while he and Ekaterin had taken Helen to ImpMil for the weekly check.  It shouldn’t have surprised him that they would return with toys.  Nor that the toys would be in sufficient number for the Armsmen to play as well.  Doubtless they had been affected by the stress of the last weeks too.

Cordelia and Ekaterin had taken over the Library for various girl talk.  Sufficiently supplied by Ma Kosti with enough tasty foodstuffs, they planned on spending the afternoon catching up.  They would soon be joined by Laisa and the trio would be absorbed in things Miles didn’t care to know.  He was just pleased that he was able to relax and get back to the work that had been left waiting for his attention.  The Vorbarra boys were coming as well.  No doubt they would be outside with the rest, totally soaked and having a great time.  

Laisa had been particularly keen on seeing Cordelia when they had spoken at the waterpark about a week ago, and had been disappointed to find out she would not be arriving as early as Miles had thought.  She had taken his call about Cordelia being later than expected with her usual calm demeanor, but had seemed more upset by it than he had expected.  He had asked Ekaterin to set up this afternoon get-together as soon as practical.  

Miles hadn’t had many occasions to talk to Gregor since the fall either.  He had asked not to be given any assignments off-planet shortly after the fall.  Gregor had agreed and they hadn’t talked since.  Miles assumed that he was getting reports on Helen through his ImpSec contacts because neither he nor Ekaterin had been asked.

Miles started in on his flimsies and was quickly lost in the details of his last assignment.  He was so totally absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the arrival of Laisa or the thundering footsteps of the Vorbarra boys as they raced outside where the new water toys waited.  

* * *

“Papa?”

Miles didn’t look up from his report as he answered, “Yes, Sasha?”, hoping that whatever the question was, it could be answered simply.  This report was not going to write itself no matter how much he might like it to, and Gregor’s patience, while long, was not infinite, and Miles had no desire to find its limit.  

“Papa, can Xav spend the night at our house?” came the question.  It was an easy question after all.

Miles typed another few words in his report and replied, “Not tonight.”  He paused in his typing long enough to continue, “Your grandmother arrived last night and we have had a busy day.  Maybe another time.”   He heard the footsteps that meant that Sasha had walked out of the room and continued the report.  He was going to catch up with his paperwork this time.

Miles distantly heard the voices of Sasha and Xav talking outside the door, but could not make out the words.  Sasha was probably relaying the bad news about the sleepover to Xav.  Xav said something and then Miles heard footsteps again walking to where he was typing.

“Papa?”  Sasha said, this time with a more cautious tone.  

Miles looked up this time to see his son standing on the other side of the large table.  His hair was disheveled from being dried off after playing with the water toys, but he had on dry clothes.  Miles figured they must have come in to play something a little less wet.

“Papa,” Sasha began, “I know you said that Xav couldn’t spend the night, but he really really wants to.  He won’t tell me why, he says that he doesn’t want to get me into trouble again, but he doesn’t want to go home.”  Sasha’s expression of concern betrayed both his discomfort with what his cousin was telling him and the fact that he was asking a second time for permission to do something he had already been told no about.

“I told him that you didn’t usually change your mind once you said no, but...”

Miles’s head moved from behind the comconsole where he had been typing.  The idea of finishing the report vanished into the recesses of his mind as he took in the amazing statement his son had made.  Xav Vorbarra didn’t want to go home.  Miles took a deep breath and wondered what could possibly have gone on outside that was so horrible that Xav didn’t want to face Gregor and explain.

“Did something happen outside?” Miles asked, perhaps more fiercely than he should have, as he stood to look out the window that overlooked the area where most of the children and Armsmen were still happily playing.  He looked back as his son staunchly defended his cousin.

“No!” said Sasha adamantly.  “We played with the new water toys that Grandmother got.  Everyone got wet.  We were all having fun and then Xav said that he wanted to go inside for a while.  So we came inside.  Helen wanted to stay outside and so did everyone else.  David and Lizzie are trying to ambush the Armsmen.  Simon is building in the mud.  Taurie is telling everyone what to do and John and Sophie are splashing in the puddles.  Xav didn’t do anything.  At least nothing he wasn’t supposed to.”

At Miles’s disbelieving look, he continued, “Nothing bad happened.  We didn’t break anything.  Nobody got hurt.  Really truly.”  He paused and looked back toward the door and the hallway beyond it.  He continued softer than before, “But Xav really wants to stay here.  He was almost crying when I told him that you said, ‘No.’”

Miles sighed, reluctantly determining that the only way to find out what was wrong was to go to the source and ask Xav himself why he didn’t want to go home.  “Ask him to come in here, then.”  Miles did not want to be in the middle of some issue between Xav and his parents.  Being involved in a parent-child problem with his Emperor was not on his to-do list.  Sometimes that to-do list got very strange, though. Sasha walked out the door and padded down the hall to where, presumably, the distraught Xav was waiting.  

Miles caught a glimpse of a dry and dressed Vorbarra Armsman coming down the hallway at a less than prudent speed.  Miles smiled as he realized that Xav must have changed into his dry clothes faster than the uniform worn by the Armsmen allowed.  The Armsman stood silently to one side of the doorway and took a position of waiting.  

Miles could hear the boys talking and then the footsteps as they walked back to the Yellow Parlor.  Miles hoped against all reason that this was nothing, whatever was troubling Xav so much was just a childish over-exaggeration of a trivial event, and Miles could swiftly encourage the young boy to face whatever it was. But Miles knew it was a hope in vain as soon as Xav walked into the room.  All his thoughts of the report that had been so important a few minutes ago were lost in the wake of a tidal wave of emotion and a distant memory the moment after that.  

Miles had watched as Xav had looked carefully around the room as he entered, as if to confirm that indeed no one was there but Miles.  The room was empty except for the furniture and the now-forgotten paperwork.  Miles moved from behind the desk to the overstuffed sofa nearer the windows and motioned to Xav that he could sit on the other end.  Xav took a breath and looked back at the open door behind him.

“You can close it if you would prefer,” was all Miles could think to say.  The Armsman would wait there, but not interfere with the conversation.  Whatever this was, Xav thought it was serious and didn’t want anyone overhearing it, including the person assigned to keep him safe.  

Xav closed the door and, as if bracing for something terrible, walked over to the sofa at the end of the room to face his uncle.  Miles thought that he looked as if he expected to be punished for something, but Miles had no idea what that could be.  Certainly Miles didn’t intend to punish him for anything. Sasha had said that the child had done nothing wrong and, even if he had, Miles would send him to Laisa, who was downstairs, and not do anything himself.  

Miles waited a minute, hoping that Xav would start the conversation.  It wasn’t as if Miles hadn’t been in difficult conversations before, even with children.  It was part of his job, most definitely not his favorite part, but he was confident in his abilities to deal with it if it came to that.  When nothing seemed forthcoming, he finally began with, “So Sasha says you really want to spend the night here.”

Xav sat down on the sofa next to Miles and swung his dangling feet in slow circles.  He looked at the floor and nodded his head ‘yes’.  

“Do you want to explain why?” ventured Miles.

As Xav continued to look at the floor, Miles watched as silent tears began dropping onto his lap. The tears progressed to crying as Xav choked out the sad words, “My Da doesn’t like me anymore.  He doesn’t like anybody.  He just does work.  He doesn’t even like my Mama.  He just wants all of us to go away.”

Miles was shocked speechless.  His foster brother valued his family more than anything.  They were the most important thing in his life.  He had lost both his parents before he was six.  He would never allow anything to harm Xav or any of his brothers, and especially not Laisa.  This didn’t make sense.  Although if Xav believed it to be true, that would definitely explain why he was so upset and why he didn’t want to go home.  As Miles reached his arm over the child’s shoulder and held him to close to him, Xav leaned into Miles and continued sobbing.  

When the tears ran out, he handed a tissue to Xav.  He didn’t want to make Xav feel that he wasn’t listening, but without more information there was little advice he could offer.  Miles thought carefully about what to say next.  Putting on his most kindly face and using his best Uncle Miles voice he asked, “Why do you think he doesn’t like you?”

“He used to eat breakfast with us on most days.  It was the only time we were certain to see him because no matter how busy he was, he always was there then.  We wouldn’t see him for lunch because of school and lots of times he would have meetings and other stuff that he had over dinner time - sometimes even Mama went to those.” Xav paused, and then looking at Miles continued, “But after Helen got hurt he didn’t come to breakfast anymore.  Mama said he was just busy, but how busy could he be everyday?  I really missed seeing him, even if it was only for a little while over groats.”

“Maybe he really is that busy, Xav.  He is Emperor after all.  Sometimes he does have a lot of work to do.”  Miles explained, but he didn’t really believe what he was telling the child.

Xav looked crushed.  That wasn’t the answer he had hoped for.  He started to say something else and stopped.

“Is there something else?” Miles asked.  He didn’t think simply missing breakfast would have caused this much upset.

Xav looked at the floor again and nodded slowly ‘yes’.

Miles waited.  

“He yelled at my Mama and made her cry.”

Miles sat back on the sofa and let out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding.  

“The first time was the day of the mess at Cave Rock.  I couldn’t sleep and was up late.  I was going to tell him that I was sorry again when he got back to the apartments.  He got home really late and he and Mama were talking.  I got up to tell him, but I didn’t get a chance because he got mad.  I didn’t hear what he said but he left and Mama was crying on the couch.  I went back to bed, but it was really hard to go to sleep.”

Miles’s heart had fallen into the floor during this recitation.  He didn’t say anything as he struggled to find appropriate words.

“It’s all my fault.  If I hadn’t knocked the pieces off Cave Rock none of this would be happening.”

Miles knew what to say to that, “It is not your fault.  You did not make him do anything.  He is the adult here.”

Xav looked up again, “But if only I had...”

“No, Xav,” said Miles kindly, “No.  You didn’t cause it.”  Miles closed his eyes and hoped that he was wrong as he asked, “Was there more?”

Xav looked startled and then nodded an affirmative, “Papa doesn’t come home until really late and sometimes not at all.  That makes Mama cry.  She thinks that I don’t know, but I think she misses the way things were before.  She tries to pretend that everything is okay, but it isn’t.”

No, it isn’t, was all that Miles could think.  He just sat there taking in what his young nephew had said.  “Xav, it will get better,” he said as he reached a conclusion, “I am going to talk to your Mama and we will come up with something.  If she wants you to spend the night here, then we will make that happen.”

The relief in Xav’s face told Miles he had made the correct decision, at least for now.  This secret had been too much for the eight year old to handle on his own.

“Now, why don’t you stop in the washroom and then find Sasha and the two of you can do something.”

Xav hugged his uncle. “Thank you,” he whispered and walked back across the room to the door and the washroom beyond.

Miles heard the sounds of someone getting up off the floor as Sasha asked, concerned for his friend, “So, did Papa say you could stay?”

“No, but he is going to make it better,” came the reply.  “I don’t know how exactly, but he will do it.”

He walked back to the desk and its neglected paperwork.  It was going to have to wait yet another day.  He had more pressing business to deal with today.

* * *

Miles stopped a few feet away from the open door to Library.  This was his house, he should not feel nervous about entering a room he had been in more times than he could count.  He should not.  But he did.  Finally he walked the few steps and crossed the threshold to approach the corner of the room where the ladies had taken their afternoon.  The Vorbarra Armsmen stood patiently to each side of the door, always alert.  Waiting while Laisa sat with her friends was not the most exciting afternoon, but Miles bet they could think of many worse.  The ladies looked like they were enjoying themselves.  Unfortunately, he didn’t expect that his interruption was going to be appreciated...  

“Afternoon, Miles, did you come down looking for some of the pastries?  I think Ekaterin saved a cream puff for you?” asked his mother conversationally.  

“It’s right there,” said Ekaterin, pointing to a small plate off to the side of the larger platter.

“I believe that Ma Kosti saved a few for you in the kitchen as well, if you decide that one is simply not enough,” continued his mother.  “Your cook is absolutely amazing, Miles.”

Laisa smiled at the friendly banter.  “We have tried to hire her away before, but she enjoys working here.”

Miles nodded, “Thank you, mother.  She makes an absolutely wonderful lemon tart, that you will have to try before you leave.”  He stopped a few feet from where they sat.

“What’s wrong, Miles?” asked Ekaterin.  “You didn’t come down looking for the pastries, did you?”

Miles looked at his wife and answered, “No,” and then turned to Laisa, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Miles watched as she set down the pastry on a small plate that had been set nearby and rose from the seat.  He walked across the room to the far end, away from his wife and mother.  Laisa followed.

He spoke softly as to not be overheard, “I don’t know quite how to begin.”  

“Begin at the beginning and go to the end,” Laisa supplied.  It was something that Gregor had said many times.

Finally he decided, “Xav and I just had a very concerning conversation.  He doesn’t want to go back to the Residence.”

He watched as the color drained from Laisa’s face and her hand went to her mouth.  If she had been holding the pastry she would have dropped it.  She let out a startled gasp and took a step away from where he was standing.

At the sudden gasp, Ekaterin and Cordelia had looked across the room.  The twin looks of concern locked Miles in place.  He shot them a calming look and then looked back to Laisa.  “Would you like to have this conversation somewhere more private?”

She nodded in agreement.

Miles looked back to the concerned women in his life and said, “We will be in the Yellow Parlor,” and then led the distressed Laisa out the door and toward the stairs to the second floor.  The towering Armsmen followed at a discreet distance, all the time watching Miles.  

Miles watched as Laisa recovered considerably on the short walk to the Yellow Parlor.  At their arrival, she turned to the Armsmen and told them to wait outside.  It was obvious that they would rather be where they could see her, but just as obvious that she wanted to be alone.  They silently took up positions outside the door and waited.

Miles walked across the room to where the couch and chairs sat near the window.  He could still faintly hear the children outside playing.  He was glad someone was still having a good day.  He sat on the chair nearer the window and waited as Laisa closed the door and followed him into the room.

“This was the room my grandfather used for most of his planning meetings when he lived here,” he said looking around.

“Did you come in here often?” asked Laisa.

“As often as I could,” replied Miles.  “I followed my father in here every time I could.  I wanted to know everything about everything.”

Laisa smiled, “You still miss him.”

“Everyday.”

She looked past Miles out the windows beyond, “I think Gregor does too.  I think he misses your mother being around too.”

“She would come if he asked.”

“He doesn’t want to ask.  He doesn’t want to need anyone.  He wants to be able to do it all.  Without help from anyone.”

“But it isn’t possible to do it all.  Especially by himself,” Miles replied.

“I know that and you know that and I think even he knows that, but he doesn’t want to accept it,” she responded.  Laisa took the chair nearest to Miles, “So, what did Xav tell you?”

Miles took a breath and began, “Xav is convinced that his father doesn’t like him anymore.  He says that Gregor no longer eats breakfast with him and that it is all because of what happened at Cave Rock.”  Miles couldn’t help but feel the pain that his words were causing, but knew that he couldn’t stop here.  “He also said that Gregor got really upset the night of Cave Rock and made you cry.  And that it wasn’t the only time you had cried.”  He had tried to be as kind with his choice of words as possible, but there was no easy way to say it.  “He doesn’t want to go home.”

The words he had spoken had cut to the bone.  Miles watched as she struggled to respond.  There was nothing more he could say.

“Unfortunately, much of what he told you is true,” she began.

Miles got up from the chair he had been sitting in and began pacing.  He was profoundly happy that he had taken been taking care of himself and had used his seizure stimulator earlier in the week.  The stress of the day would have looked very different from the floor.  “Were you planning on talking to anyone about this?” he asked.

“Who, Miles?” she asked accusingly.  “Who could I talk to about the Emperor being stressed out?”

“I would have made the time,” he said sadly.

“I know you would have.  But Helen needed you and Ekaterin needed you.  Your family needed you.”

“You are family too.  Gregor is my brother.”

“He is your foster brother,” she said.  “That is what sent him over the edge the night of Cave Rock.”   At Miles’s confused look she went on.  “I made a comment about his parents meaning Cordelia and Aral and he got very very angry.  I have never seen him that way before or since.  It was as if something inside him snapped.  He didn’t, in fact, do anything, but I suspect it was a much nearer thing that he wants to admit,” she paused.  “I almost pressed the panic button,” she said very quietly.  “He was...”

“I am so sorry,” said Miles.

“Me too.  Since that night he hasn’t been around as much.  Xav was right.  I think it is because he is afraid that he will lose control again and next time he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.”

“Gregor is about the most controlled person I know.  He holds everything very close.   He was always that way.  Even as a little kid.  He never cried even when he got hurt.”

“I know that too.  He tells great stories about the things that you did though.  And how many broken bones you had.  You were pretty stoic about pain, too”

“I had lots of practice.  And good painkillers too.”

Miles stopped pacing and returned to the chair that he had vacated earlier.  He looked at Laisa.  She looked at him with a measure of trepidation and asked the question that Miles had been waiting for, “So now that you know, what happens next?”

“I suppose to a large degree that depends on what you want to happen,” he replied.  “Xav could spend the night here.  I would never turn him away when he is scared.  But that wouldn’t really help the situation.”

Laisa nodded, “That would be nothing more than a very temporary bandage on a much larger problem.”

“Agreed,” said Miles.  “But anything else involves allowing other people to know what is going on and I would rather not do that without your consent.”

“You are putting me in a very difficult position.”

“Is it any more difficult than the one you are already in?”

“Who would you want to tell?”

“My mother,” Miles replied immediately.  “She knows him better than anyone else.  If it is some issue with him and the deaths of his parents she is going to be one of the very few people that he can talk to about it.”

Laisa nodded her agreement.

“And Guy.”

Laisa looked away.

“If your safety and the safety of the boys have been compromised then he needs to know.  He won’t allow anything to happen.  And if Gregor needs anything, he will know how to get it.”

Laisa looked back at Miles and nodded again, this time with tears in her eyes.  “He is not going to be pleased with this turn of events.”

“Probably true, at least in the short term.  But he will understand.”

Miles walked to the comconsole surrounded by the flimsies he had planned on getting through this afternoon and pushed them aside to turn the machine back on.  He typed in the code that would connect him to the Head of Imperial Security and sat down.

* * *

Guy had arrived an hour or so after Miles had made the first call.  His mother and Guy and had calmly listened to what Laisa had said.  Cordelia had silently absorbed all the information, presumably concerned about her foster son and his well being.  Guy had listened carefully, not commenting, up to the point where she described the evening that she had been frightened and reluctant to press the button.  

The furiousity of his response startled even Miles, “Do not be afraid to press that button, my lady.  My men are trained in dealing with many many situations, including the one you have just described.  They know what to do.”

She had silently nodded and continued.

Guy had not commented again until she finished.  Then looking at Cordelia he said carefully, “I never expected to need to use it.”

She looked at him and nodded.

Miles and Laisa looked at each other and then back to Guy and Cordelia.  Guy looked back to Cordelia and continued, “When I said that my men were trained for dealing with situations like what you described I was not exaggerating. After the issues with Serg, there were documents drawn up to deal with the possibility of an Emperor...”

“But he isn’t.  He hasn’t,” sputtered Laisa.

“I know.  But he is walking a fine line here and I, for one, would rather you be on the safe side of it,” said Guy.

“What are you talking about?” asked Miles.  Whatever this document was Miles had not seen it.

“ImpSec Order Number 9845.  Its existence is need-to-know.  The details of it even more so.  It establishes a way of determining whether a sitting Emperor is fit to rule.”

“I helped write it in the aftermath of dealing with Serg, Miles.  Gregor was very young and we couldn’t guess what the effects of the trauma of losing both parents would be.”

“So what does it say?” asked Laisa.

Guy answered, “It is a procedure to determine if someone is sane and fit to rule.  It starts with ruling out physical causes and then moves on to psychological ones.  To enact it requires the signature of the Head of ImpSec and at least one person who has seen behavior that would be cause.”

“Do you really think this is necessary?” Laisa asked sadly.

“The question is more, do you think it is necessary, milady?”  Guy responded.  “If we do nothing and the behavior gets more disturbing or if he scares the boys...”

“He’s already scared one of the boys.  Xav was frightened enough this morning to ask to stay here,” said Miles.

Laisa quietly whispered, “Et tu, Brute?” and Miles felt even worse than before.

“It is possible that he will do the test willingly,” interjected Cordelia.  The other people in the room looked to where she was sitting.  They had forgotten she was there.  “These last few weeks must have been terribly hard on him.  He might do the test voluntarily just to prove to himself and you, Laisa, that he has everything under control.”

“But he doesn’t have it all under control,” she replied.

“There is only one way to find out,” Guy said as he motioned to the comsole.  “Would you like to make the call?”

* * *

Miles watched as Gregor arrived.   He was wearing what passed for business casual for him, well tailored black pants with just a hint of silver piping on the seams and a short sleeved black shirt.  Miles wondered if maybe wearing black all the time got wearing.  He supposed not, Miles wore brown much of the time and barely even thought about it.

 When Laisa had called, she hadn’t made it a particularly urgent request. So he came after he finished his work for the day.  It had been a few weeks since he had been to Vorkosigan House.  He would appreciate the cream puffs that Miles had wisely not eaten.  

Miles met him the foyer and said, “Hi Gregor.”

“Nice afternoon, Miles.  What’s up?”

“Laisa and I wanted to talk to you and thought maybe some of Ma Kosti’s cream puffs would make for a better conversation,” said Miles as he walked toward the stairs to the second floor.

“Ma Kosti’s cream puffs make any conversation better,” agreed Gregor following Miles up to the Yellow Parlor, two Armsmen following two steps behind.  “Is your mother getting settled in?”

“Yes, she arrived yesterday. I believe that she is with Ekaterin, right now.  They are planning some sort of outing to Hassadar to catch up with Mark and Kareen.”

Gregor nodded, “That sounds like something she would do.”

As they walked into the room the two Armsmen took up position to each side of the door and when Miles motioned to close the door, closed it.  Miles watched as Gregor saw his wife sitting on the couch near the windows and smiled at her then looked at the table, now devoid of flimsies, and saw the plate of cream puffs placed on it.  His grin became wider and he eagerly approached them.  

The grin faded as he noticed another person in the room and turned to face him, “General Allegre, I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“Yes, Sire,” he replied.

“Miles, what is going on?”

Miles walked across the room and motioned to the couch, “Would you like to take a seat, Sire?”

“No.”  said the Emperor, “I would like you to tell me what is going on.  Now.”  The popular wisdom that one couldn’t tell the difference in expression when the Emperor was upset and when he was not, was true, but the tone in that voice conveyed a demand for respect that one ignored at their own peril.  Rule one when dealing with the Emperor was: No Surprises.  And he had just broken that rule.

“Gregor, will you please sit down,” asked Laisa.  Miles thought, respectfully, that she was perhaps the only person that could call him that right now.

Emperor Gregor Vorbarra set down the plate that contained the forgotten cream puff, walked to the couch, and sat down.  Laisa took his hand in hers and held it tightly.  “Alright, now tell me what is going on,” he demanded.

Miles began, “I ta..” and he felt his heart skip a beat.  Not since the ignoble day that he had been discharged from ImpSec had he felt so vulnerable.  Gregor’s eyes buried into his soul and threatened to eat it whole.

He was saved by the interruption of Laisa’s voice and Gregor’s head turned to her.  “Gregor, I... We are worried about you.”

Gregor took his hand from hers and calmly stood up to tower over Miles’s significantly shorter frame.  “I am fine.”

“You may be fine, but the people around you are not,” responded Miles.

“What?” was the accusing response.

“Xav came to me earlier today because he is convinced that you no longer care about him.  He didn’t want to go home.”

Gregor stepped back as if the words were a painful fire.

Miles painfully continued, “Xav then told me about how your actions are making your lady wife cry.”

Gregor whirled and in a moment was out the door with his two Armsmen trailing behind him in a rush to keep up.  The door swung limply in the late afternoon breeze, leaving the three people in the room at a loss for what to do next.  The slamming of the front door a second later betrayed just how badly the conversation had gone.

The silence was broken by the voice of the Dowager Countess Cordelia Vorkosigan “I suspect that didn’t go as well as you had hoped.”

Miles  numbly nodded his assent and leaned back heavily into the overstuffed chair.  Not as hoped at all.

“I will go talk to him,” said Laisa.  

“No, dear,” said Cordelia certainly, “I rather doubt that you would have any more luck than Miles right now.  He is scared and angry and embarrassed.  I suspect that he isn’t thinking much at all right now.”

Miles looked at her expectantly.

“Miles, get a container from the kitchen and package up those cream puffs.  Then I am going to deliver them and check on him myself,”

“Yes, mother,” he said.  Miles felt about six years old when his mother took that tone with him and could do nothing but obey as if he were that little child.  He spoke into his wristcom and a minute later an Armsman appeared with the box.

The cream puffs disappeared into the box and Cordelia turned to the recently arrived Armsman, “Where is the Emperor now?” she asked.

The Armsman spoke into his wristcom and then replied, “He is the Barrayaran Garden milady.  Specifically, he is sitting on the bench in the northwest corner next to the goatbane.”

“Thank you, Nandez.  Shall we go deliver the cream puffs?”

The startled Armsman replied, “As you wish milady,” and the two of them walked out.

Miles began breathing again and said, “Thank all the gods that she is here.”

General Allegre, who had been silent through the whole encounter, responded, “Indeed.”

Laisa walked over to the windows, “What happens now?”

Miles looked to General Allegre and said, “We wait.  We wait for mother to work her magic.  And if that doesn’t work, we will deal with it when the time arrives.”

General Allegre joined his Empress at the window, “It will be alright, milady.  Truly.”

* * *

It had been a long few hours.  Ma Kosti’s skills had been put to the test when all the Vorbarras had ended up staying for dinner on very little notice.  But she came through, just like the culinary wizard she was.

Miles was sorely tempted to furtively check on how the conversation between Gregor and his mother was going, but decided that if Laisa could manage to not snoop he could too.  General Allegre had gone home.  Miles had been told that upon any new information he was to call.  Whatever the time and whatever the information.  Miles had agreed.

Miles had tried to go back to working on the report that still wasn’t done and Laisa had gone downstairs to talk to Ekaterin.  Last time Miles asked after the children, he had been told they were playing Hide and Seek.  It seems someone, or even several someones, was having a good day.  

At around seven o’clock, Miles heard a knock on his door.  He expected to see Sasha or maybe Xav asking about the possibility of the sleepover.  He did not expect to see Gregor.

“Can I come in?” Gregor asked.

“Of course, Sire,” replied Miles.

“Just Gregor, for now, Miles,” said Gregor as he walked in, the Armsman taking up their positions just as they had several hours earlier.

“Okay,” said Miles, “Do you want me to get something sent up from the kitchen?  You missed dinner and those cream puffs are good, but not that filling.”

“Your mother said that she would have a plate sent up as we were walking back.  She missed dinner too,” said Gregor as he walked over to the table with Miles’s flimsies spread out on it.  He picked up one, “Still working on the Vortundoski report?”

“Yeah, I was planning on getting it done today, but some other stuff came up and I needed to deal with that first.”

Gregor set the flimsy down and walked to the window.  “I think I really messed up, Miles.”

“It happens to everyone,” said Miles calmly.

A servant arrived with a tray of food.  Miles pointed to a low table near the couch and chairs, and it was placed there.  “Please tell Ma Kosti, thank you, Anna.”

The servant vanished as quietly as she had come and Miles and Gregor were effectively alone again.

“Your plate arrived, Gregor,” said Miles.  He sat down across from the table and couch.

“Yes, of course,” said Gregor and he walked over to the couch and food.  He slowly and deliberately began eating, “How do you do it, Miles?”

“Do what?” asked Miles, confused by the question.

“How do you not crack under all the pressure?  How do you not...?”

“I don’t know.  I had to learn to depend on other people when I was young.  There was always Sergeant Bothari.  He helped me to walk and do everything.  And then I guess I learned how to pick good people and let them do their thing.”

“I learned that I couldn’t depend on anyone.  Ever.”

“I’m sorry.  I can’t imagine how hard that would be.”

Gregor took another bite food and ate it carefully.  “Do you know what General Allegre wants to do?”

“Yes.  Although I saw the document for the first time today.  Did you know of its existence before?”

“I did.  It was one of the things I found out about when I was 23 years old, when you found me in the Hegen Hub.  It felt like everyone expected me to go crazy and they were just getting a head start on preparing for it.  I was scared then, too.”

Miles waited while Gregor finished his plate.  Under the last cover were two more cream puffs.  “Would you like them?  I was told that the ones I got this afternoon were meant for you.”

“That’s alright,” said Miles and then he continued, “Ma Kosti would have made a batch just for you if she had know you were coming.”

“Maybe I will have to come by more often then,” said Gregor impetuously.

“You can, you know, you are always welcome here.  You spent a great deal of time here as a child.”

“I did and it was some of the happiest memories I have.  I remember watching you slide down the bannisters and climb into everything.” Gregor popped the last cream puff into his mouth and sat back.  “I am willing to do the testing, all of it, voluntarily, but I have conditions.”

Miles was relieved and worried, what were the conditions?  

“First, I want information about this limited to as few people as possible.”

Miles nodded, General Allegre and Laisa would agree to that easily.

“Next, I want it to be done at the Residence and not ImpMil if at all possible.”

Miles nodded, they would agree to that as well.  So far, there was nothing that would cause issue.

“And finally, for any of the parts that require a witness to be there, I want you to be that witness.”

Miles nodded, “I don’t think those conditions will be a problem, Sire.  But are you sure you want me to be there?  There are parts to the psych exam that will undoubtedly be both very personal and very difficult.”

Gregor pinned Miles with his eyes. “Miles, your mother suggested that if I was ever going to start learning to trust someone that I start now, and that I start with you.  If you aren’t willing then...”

“I am willing to do it, I just thought that maybe Laisa would make a better choice.”

“She doesn’t understand Barrayar, Miles.  She loves me and loves our children, but Barrayar isn’t home.  Komarr is.  I need someone who will understand about all that Barrayar is and will be.”

“Alright. Guy will want to start soon.”

“Fine.  I know I have an important meeting with Count Vordarian tomorrow at 2, but everything else this week can be rescheduled.  There will be people who aren’t pleased, but that is the way it is.”

“Can you arrange time tomorrow to meet with Guy to plan how to make this all work?” asked Miles.

Gregor grinned, “I don’t think that will be a problem.  I rather expect I have his undivided attention right now.”  Miles nodded in agreement as Gregor continued, “I don’t much care for it.”

“No.  I remember the times I had Simon’s undivided attention.  It was an unnerving experience at best.  It did, however, motivate me to not have it happen again.”

“Did it work?  I am rather inclined to not be in this position again.”

“I suppose it did for as long as I was within his reach and then...” Miles shrugged, “Sometimes things got away from me.”

Gregor sat back in the chair and for the first time in a long time, relaxed a little.

“Oh, there is one thing you need to do,” said Miles.

“What?” asked Gregor curiously.

“Eat breakfast with your family.  The thing that bothered Xav the most was that you stopped eating breakfast with the family.  He really missed having you there.”

“It is hard to make the time, Miles.”

“Do you remember my father’s two hour lunches that he didn’t move for anything?”

“I will make the time.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

Five weeks later, Miles was once again writing up a report, this one was only going to be seen by a very few people ever.  It was the summary report of the Emperor’s Health Report.  The preliminary reports had been written and received as they were created.  Gregor was stressed out, overworked, and trying to do everything.  He needed more exercise, more time away from work, and to delegate more.  He also had unresolved issues about his parents, parenting, and family life in general.  It was not anything Miles couldn’t have guessed.

The “treatment plan” of choice was to schedule exercise into his day, limit his work hours, and to train someone to take over the jobs that didn’t absolutely require his personal attention.  And to schedule some sessions with a family counselor to deal with the other issues.  Miles was certain that the recommendations would be heeded at least for a while, and that now that Laisa had some support and backup, it would get better.  

Miles finished the report and was getting ready to call the Residence to schedule an appointment to deliver it when he heard a knock on his door.  Miles looked up and saw a smiling Xav Vorbarra carrying a pink pastry box.

“Hi, Xav,” said Miles.

“Hi, Uncle Miles,” said Xav, “I brought you a present.”  He said and he handed Miles the box.  “They are cream puffs, some are chocolate and some are strawberry and some are lemon.”

Miles took the box and opened it, intending to share the bounty contained within. “Would you like one?” he asked.

“It’s okay, I ate a bunch in the car.”  Xav turned to walk out of the room and Miles set down the box.  Suddenly Xav changed his mind and ran over to where Miles had sat down and was peering into the box himself.  “Thank you, Uncle Miles,” he said as he gave his uncle a hug.

Miles carefully didn’t get either cream or powdered sugar on his nephew as he hugged him back.

“Thank you for bringing my Papa back,” said Xav, starting to cry.

“Thank you for coming to me when you needed help, Xav.  Sometimes we don’t know when someone needs help unless they ask and you did a great job of that,” responded Miles.  “Now, are you sure you can’t eat even one more of these cream puffs?  They look awfully small.”

“Well, maybe.  The lemon ones are my favorite,” said Xav reaching into the box and picking out one with slightly yellow cream.

“Then maybe I will have to try one of those first,” grinned Miles as he too found a lemon cream puff.

Muffled mumbling was the only sound heard for the next few minutes as the pair tried all the flavors.


End file.
